Merely Existing...

6

I had just turned my live off, cracking up at all the viewers that had complimented me on how wonderful I looked. They wished me a grand time while asking me to promise them that I'd stay safe and make smart decisions. I am sitting above my bathroom sink. Administering the last finishing touches of my makeup. Blending, while applying a false eyelash when my phone begins to ring. The number isn't saved, so I am having reservations about whether I should answer it or not, but I think it may be my agent Patricia. She was always finding herself in some sort of trouble. I answer on the third ring.

"Hello?" I answer curiously. "Ava? This is Mrs. Shirley... Ava is that you?" She inquires in a perturbed breath. Mrs. Shirley? Why in the world was she calling me? How did she even get this number? "Sorry I must have— "No I'm here! This is Ava." I confirm cutting her off. "Ava! Hunny I'm so glad this number worked! I've been trying to get in contact with you. How are you dear?" I can hear her genuine, motherly resonance match the smile I knew she carried from the receiver's end. "I'm doing fine and yourself Mrs. S?" I call her that nickname for short. She was the last foster mother I've lived with since being placed in the system all those years ago. I ended up aging out of her home. I loved her, she is probably a tad bit older than my mother. She reminded me of what I hoped my grandmother would've been like. Mrs.S and her husband couldn't conceive children, so I was one of the many to have been blessed by her grace. "Okay darling, that's wonderful news. I'm calling because we're getting Kyle's body exhumed and being that you are this big star now, I was wondering if you can help contribute to the costs. The detectives have decided to reopen the case, suspecting there had been foul play in his death."

Those words cause me to almost drop the phone as my face grew pale. It appears the world was against me. First, my mother was coming home, and now this news? I couldn't bear the thought of the detectives finding out what truly happened to Kyle 8 years ago. I tell Mrs. Shirley I'll do what I can, and we went on to catch up for a few before bidding our farewells. Shit! Something unnatural had to be orchestrating these series of events because it was no way my world could come crashing down in the same week. I remember seeing the light decrease from Kyle's eyes on that summer day. June 10th, 2014 to be precise. The climate was humid that afternoon, and something felt off. Before I could get lost in the memories my phone rang again, successfully frightening the crap out of me! This time it was displaying a contact saved, Malcolm, with a question mark emoji scrolling its way across the screen. Persistently making the deafening sound my phone manages to make.

I answer on the fourth ring, "Malcolm! I'm sorry, I was using the bathroom, wassup?" I explain sounding exasperated, so it can seem like I was running toward my phone instead of being in a trance-like state just moments before. "Hey Ava, I'm outside your place... Are you ready or should I come up and wait?" Shit! I remove the phone from my ear briefly to see the exact time. It is currently 7:50 pm. We didn't have to be at the bowling alley till 10:00 pm; but we decided we would meet up with the other couple to grab a bite or something, just to start a vibe. "Nah, that's okay I'm coming down. Be there shortly." I tell him as I hang up, I look up into the mirror examining my handiwork, discovering I have yet to apply the other eyelash.

Shit! Let me hurry up! I am still essentially naked, all I have on are boxer briefs. I wear them to feel comfortable most time. I apply the glue and throw on some clothes while waiting for it to dry. I decide to get dressed in an embroidered cropped blouse, with Valentino high-rise skinny jeans, and some Margiela loafers. I toss my hair in a loose bun, with some curls scattering in a disheveled but neat way. I take in my appearance; wondering to myself; why I wanted to look so good, it's not like I had a thing for Malcolm. Did I? No, no, no, no I'm simply looking good for myself and my fans I reasoned. Convincing myself while resisting the peculiar feelings I've been attempting to ignore. I snap a photo in my full-length mirror, hanging in the corridor of my condo. With my wall embedded jellyfish tank, in the back of me revealing my entire outfit. My babies floating carefreely behind me. I post the outfit and designers I was wearing tonight, captioning it "To hell if I don't pray!" And proceed to walk out the door.