Merely Existing...

9

"Oh my god!! Hi! I can't believe it's you! I'm Melissa one of like, your hugest fans!" The prettiest caramel-skinned girl pulls me into a hug. Naturally, my body hugs her back, while her group of friends nods while gaping at me awestruck. I don't truly feel a connection to any of the girls but I allow the one hugging me to continue to hanker in her obsession. Finally letting go of her hold of me which seems to have lasted forever, her dad pulls her into a snug tight embrace and asks, "Again, Melissa what are you doing here?" letting her go, but not before placing a delicate kiss on her forehead. I couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy, knowing I never experienced that fatherly love.

My eyes dart around my surroundings to see Diamond and Andre sitting down actively engaged in a conversation. "I told you I was going out with the girls. When you told me you were meeting Ava again tonight, I tracked your location so I can at least say hi. " She tells him sounding embarrassed by the honesty while looking shyly toward me with a sheepish grin. I view her face and get appalled by how similar they looked. She also sports dreadlocks, that are back length and put into a lazy ponytail. Their features were almost identical, except there was nothing masculine about her. She had a preppy look and was rocking makeup I can tell she did on her own. She introduces me to her friends and I introduce them all to the rest of the crew.

When Andre's name rolls off my tongue, one of the girls whose name I learned is Melody, shares a tense look with one of the other girls. Andre also looks uncomfortable, never really removing his eyes up from off the ground. I seem to be the only one who notices the tension because everyone else is chatting about teaming up, to see who could score the most points. Malcolm reminds his daughter that her curfew is at 12 and it was almost 11 pm. We all determine not to waste any more time and start up the tally. Laughter and enjoyment fill the room as we team up and have a good time. I keep watching Diamond and Andre closely, she was enjoying herself. I value my friend's happiness. She has smiled more tonight than she did the whole time she was with Daryl. So why is my suspicion of Andre; who's making her content interfere with my mind?

About 20 minutes into the game, I establish that I need to use the bathroom and excuse myself from the group. I release a much-needed sigh while I liberate a good amount of pee, being careful about touching the toilet seat. I was fixing to wipe myself, when I hear the door swing open to whispers of Melody and one of the other girls whose name I forgot, in a slightly elevated disagreement. I froze so they couldn't hear me in the stall eavesdropping."Bitch! He's the one who gave that shit to you?" The other girl asks Melody sounding shocked. "Yeah Cyn, him. It's not like I can confront him, it's been a month since I went to that party. He's with his girl so I don't wanna start no drama. Can we just go?" Melody replies exasperatedly. "Go?? No!! You have to tell her he's out here running around giving people H-I-V, what the hell? What if they haven't slept together? You could save someone else from getting their life ruined Mel, think about it." Cynthia!!..Shit! I just remember that that was the girl's name. Cynthia tried to reason with melody. I almost choke at the declaration but I keep my cool. "Listen it's not my responsibility to out people's status, I'm just disappointed with myself because we should've used a condom, but girl look at how fine he is! I was mad horny. Why'd he gotta be here tonight? The A is big as hell and you here bowling with my girl's pops?" Melody says starting to sound angry. "Nah, I feel you but it's still wrong that he's still walking around dealing with people, changing their life for the worse. You think he knows?" Cynthia asks her curiously. "I don't think he does, he probably was just embarrassed a one-night stand walked through the door, but you know these dudes don't be going to the doctor's to get checkups," Melody says sounding sad and a bit disgruntled.

I was starting to shift my weight from one foot to the other. I tune them out as the wheels in my head start turning rapidly. I was right all along! I wanted to jump up and down now that I finally put together the pieces that were causing my doubts about Andre in the first place. In that same instance, a wave of extreme melancholy starts to surround me, drowning me with nothing but sorrow, thinking about my friend Diamond.

She is only 25 years old. I'm not too familiar with the sickness, but I knew that if she did have it, and word got out she would lose her career and confidence. For some reason, I know she would feel tainted and disgusting because without a doubt I would if that were me. There's no way she could've possibly known he has that. How am I going to break the news to her? While we were bowling she disclosed to me that she was indeed sexting him, without protection as she felt she was able to trust him. She also accepted my invitation to be my plus one, after asking if she can bring him as her plus one, and I looked at her as if she had two heads but she told me she was just joking. She knew how to make me smile. I can not imagine being the one responsible, for telling her probably the worst news of her life. I will still love and respect her as I always have but this is something I don't think I can bring myself to do.

After finally rejoining the group, I notice that she and Andre have already left. Malcolm tells me they were growing tired of waiting for me since I've disappeared for quite some time. He also told me that she told him, she promised to text me tomorrow. It was getting late, and the startling scandal I have just learned of made my vibrations low. I thank Malcolm for the wonderful night promising him I'll be safe in a cab since he decided he was going to drive the girls home. He wanted me to ride with them but I have other plans. I'm going to find out everything I could about this Andre before the night is over. Sitting in the back of the cab, my mind is scattered all over the place. From my mother's coming home to Kyle's exhumation. Most of my introspects surfaced around this one inevitable concept; "I have to kill him." I whisper to myself.