Merely Existing...

8

I don't mean literal kill, but the impulse to take the light from someone's eyes tonight was aching. I could not be exclusively sure if it was because of the advances I feel Andre is hinting towards me, or if it's my anxiety sneaking up on me for the past crimes I have committed. I didn't think of myself as a serial killer, I only do what I deem necessary. Evan was my first fatality as he was my attacker. Kyle was the second man I've eliminated from this green planet. And if Andre continued to look at me wrong, knowing my best friend was in love with him, I will not hesitate to make him my third target. In my mind, I am doing a righteous act indeed. Some people on this planet are unquestionably evil and do not belong. 

Although I am not God or whoever created us, I believe in speeding up his work, sometimes it takes him too long. The world is a cruel and dangerous place, especially for people who are not familiar with just how dangerous it can be. Mrs.S was one of those people. She was a kind-hearted, compassionate woman, who took me into her home when no one else would. I've been bounced around to many foster homes. Once I hit a certain age, it seemed as though nobody wanted to be responsible and care for teenagers. I'm sure whomever, believed whoever would land in their house was probably already stuck in their ways. Dealing with emotional teenagers who have a past of trauma, and series of suffering could be difficult, but Mrs. Shirley had a soft spot for those that just needed some tender, love, and care. I respected that she just wanted to see me grow and blossom properly. The more I got to know her, the more I learned she would keep secrets from me but never deny me an ear to hear mine.

There were times I'd seen the bruises on her skin from when Kyle, her husband at that time have beaten her. He was a drunk, who would go out and gamble the state funds that he would steal from her just to lose, come home, and make her pay for it. I got tired of seeing her flinch when she was around him, or the negative names he would call me and the other kids in the home. He wasn't a rapist, but he was a woman beater which was both equally unethical in my eyes. It didn't take me long to get my hands on some sleeping pills. I was 18 at that time, going to a community college for law and justice. There; I had met some kids, who love to party hard but study even harder so they needed the pills to come down and focus again. I used some money I had been saving up from allowances I'd received from my social worker in the past and got myself a bottle. On June 10th 2014 it had only been me and Kyle home as Mrs.S was taking the other kids to practice. I decided that was the perfect opportunity to bring justice to the unspeakable acts that were going on in the household. He had been sitting on the porch watching football on his phone when I opened the screen door and called out, "Hey Kyle, you wanna beer?" popping open one myself.

I knew the mother fucker couldn't deny his addiction so he gladly accepted. I crushed about 7 pills and stirred them around with a straw before finally handing the beer to him. We sat and spoke, his first time ever truly talking to me. We spoke on a bunch of unrelated topics which almost made me deem him a decent person, but I knew that was just a facade. We all had our ups and downs but acting out when you're down just makes your character questionable. He began to grow tired and I told him I'll help him to bed. I tucked him in and saw his eyes drift open once more, then close shut for the last final time. I knew he'd never be able to open them again. He died in his sleep a few hours after that. Alarming Mrs.S that she was now a widow. She didn't cry immediately, but she was hurt. She loved and had been with that man for many years but I just couldn't stand to see her in pain anymore. My efforts didn't go in vain. She started to regain her confidence back, even remarried.

Why would the detectives want to resurface that case after 8 years though? It doesn't make sense to me, and I'm not sure if I want to pay for my own annihilation; if they do connect me to the case that is. Surely he had to be nothing but dust so I do not mind helping her financially, I truly believe they would find his body irrecoverable. I couldn't shake the dark cloud that began to hover over me. "Ava..it's your turn to try to strike." I look up to see a concerned expression on Malcolm's face, registering that he was talking to me attempting to get me to snap back into reality. Regaining my senses, I glance around and see Diamond jumping up and down enthusiastically as she just took down her last pin smiling amicably. Andre was in the middle of trying to hold her waist. I grabbed the bowling ball from Malcolm. I decided to enjoy this night, I wouldn't allow my thoughts to ruin the festivities. I score a strike twice and everyone cheers for me. When I turn around I notice a group of young girls walking toward our group. It appears that Malcolm knows the prettiest one. Diamond and I exchange confused glances. I'm not too far in ear range to hear a staggered, "What are you doing here?" from Malcolm. While Malcolm talks, Andre looks as if he saw a ghost. I wonder what that's all about. I got closer to the group and start to put two and two together.