I Thought You Hated Me

Chapter 25:

I'm at the bodega chatting with Bernie and snacking on some chips. "Now I don't know what to do." For the past thirty minutes I've been ranting to him about everything that happened with Dom and told him how I might love him. God, that word. The word I once gave to Daniel, to which he said back...but then fucked someone else.

"I think you need to talk to him, Natalie." He steals a chip from my hand and chomps on it. I look at him with concern and look around.

"What if he turns out like Daniel?" He gasps and I immediately re-word what I meant. "I mean like, what if he gets bored of me and decides that I wasn't worth it." Bernie is shaking his head with disappointment.

"Natalie, that boy is a mess, he is nothing like Dominic. I've known Dominic for some time and let me tell you, that man is a good person at heart. When he cares, he cares so deeply." I tear up a little because it's so true.

Dominic is a really good person, when he wants to be of course. I look back at the moments we had together and how sweet and caring he is to me. How he would literally do anything to make me feel comfortable.

"It's hard to build trust again Nat. But trust me, with him it's worth it." A tear falls down my cheek and I smile at him hugging him from the side. To which he awkwardly pats my arm wrapped around his chest. I push myself up and walk to the chips and get a bunch more. I place them on the counter. "That's all for free Nat." He says assertively. I shake my head and reach for my wallet. "Nat, please. It's all free." He says it with aggression. I smile and thank him and leave the store.

I enjoy the nice warm weather and head back to the campus. I get a notification and see who it is. Dominic. I panic and open the message.

Dom: you're coming tonight right?

We havent spoken since I left his apartment three days ago. There's a party tonight and I've been thinking whether I should go or not. Stuck on whether I want to see him there, if I do see him there I'm for sure going to collapse and have a full blown panic attack.

Me: yeah

Dom: good :)

Well, that was fine? I have been crying non stop these past days. Emily hasn't been home in forever so I've been ugly crying every second of every day since I left him. I cried because of how stupid I've been, Dominic is the perfect guy to be with. I love him don't I? Then why can't I trust him? I don't want to hurt, but I also don't want him to hurt. And now I'm tearing up again. Ugh, I hate feelings.

I have a couple of hours till the party and think of what to wear to distract myself. I try my best remembering the dresses or cute party outfits I have and not a single one comes to mind. Eh, I'll ask Emily to pick out an outfit for me. I find her contact and call her.

"Hey Nat Nat."

"Hey Em, you're going to the party tonight right?"

"Duh."

"Okay good, um can you pick an outfit out for me?"

"Already did," I hear her munch on chips. "Passed by a while ago, you weren't there, I laid it on your bed." I smile and shake my head, she knows me so well.

"Love you."

"Love you too, byee." She ends the call and I smile at the ground.

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I arrive at the dorm and place the bag of chips onto the desk. I look at my bed and I fall in love. "Oh, it's perfect." I whisper to myself and look at the outfit. It's a pink feathery top matching with a skirt that stops mid thigh and a cute puffy jacket to go along with it. I put my hand to my mouth and smiled. I check my phone and see I have two hours left. I go to take a shower then pop out five minutes later. I add the products to my hair and scrunch them up, wanting my curls to look the best they can be.

The top has a bra pad in it so I don't need to wear a bra, thank goodness. I put on the top then the skirt. I then sit down to put on makeup, a simple look, nothing overdone. I put on deodorant and sprayed some perfume on. Went to find what heels I wanted to wear and picked black heels then put them on. Then I went to put on jewelry. I give myself a pep talk and smile.

I'm going to be walking by myself to the party. I usually wouldn't mind but I'm so anxious I need someone to help me. I shake my head, shaking away the thoughts and take the puffy black jacket and head out the door.