Craaven

Chapter 26: Mortemville, Montana 1986 May 15th

CW: drug use and mild homophobia

I visited Mum again today and like the first time I saw her, we talked for hours about everything and nothing. I avoided talking about myself as much as possible and if I had to, I only talked about my interests and hobbies and occasionally a funny event that happened sometime in the past. I learned about my mother as well; she told me about all her hobbies and interests and dreams. She was happy to talk about what she used to do before she was sick (I learned the beautiful garden in the front yard of the house was her doing and her husband was taking care of it for her) and I was happy to listen. She liked to paint and make crafts and she even showed me a few of her works. She certainly was very talented and I envied her for that. The most talent I had with creativity is writing endless journal entries about my day.

I stayed for dinner again and, just like before, the twins seemed to have a vendetta against me. They even tried to follow me to the bathroom like they were spying on me and I had to call them out on it to get them to stop. They only stopped after protesting against me, saying they were just playing a game and I didn't need to be so "mean". I really dislike those brats but I have to deal with it, lest they tell their parents and I'm told to leave.

I felt better leaving their house tonight than I did the first time and I was actually in a relatively good mood. Daniel even noticed my good mood and came by my room to tell me he was glad I was doing better than before. I was also glad that I was doing better. It seemed as if the moment Sarah was out of my life, I was off to finally recover.

I have a therapy appointment with Terrance tomorrow and I'm glad I can finally tell him that I'm doing well rather than just doing okay. He certainly is helpful and I'm thankful that he keeps our appointments in the office and when I come to visit, he's no longer my therapist but more of a friend. It somehow makes him seem less like a doctor and more of someone who I trust enough to vent to and in return, he supports me in my struggles. It feels nice. For once, I have hope that things will start going well for me.

Mortemville, Montana 1986 May 16th

I hung out with Steve and his roommates after my therapy appointment and we had a good time sitting in the living room and smoking like we usually do. It felt nice to get high again after a while of being sober and I'm sure everyone in the room agreed. Maybe they hadn't been sober as long as I had been but it still had been a while since Steve works most of the time and he's the main supplier of the grass.

However, this day was particularly interesting because Brian and Sam got a hold of some mushrooms from a dealer on the other side of town and they wanted to try them with Steve and me. I declined the offer simply because I wanted to see what these two idiots would do while on the shrooms and I wanted to be able to remember it and laugh at them in the future. Steve decided to only have a small amount but it was still enough to put him out of it, which made me the responsible friend even though I, myself, was high on weed and practically useless.

They gave themselves their doses and after that, it was only a matter of time before it would hit them. I waited patiently while taking hits from a bong I was sharing with Sam and I was enjoying everyone's laughing about what would happen while the effects slowly took hold of them. It didn't take very long at all before Brian and Sam were completely out of it and staring off into space with dazed expressions. Steve was a little more coherent than they were but he still carried the same dreamy, glossy-eyed expression and the words he said were slurred and made zero sense.

I just watched on and giggled stupidly at the things Steve was saying. Brian and Sam would occasionally make random remarks but because they were far higher than Steve was, their comments were more like mumbles than actual coherent sentences.