The Love In Our Lungs

Chapter 12

I was greeted by the sun and the sound of the microwave from downstairs. The beeping reminded me of the ticks of the clock I had fallen asleep to. The mornings in the house weren't all the best for me. Clearly, as I wasn't a morning person, it actually took me what felt like hours to get out of bed, that and my mother who burst through my door, scolding me to get up.

The problem was that I wasn't a fan of waking up, because I dreaded waking up. The reality I craved was being built up on my dreams. I wanted to remain in that alternate reality, and be done with the one I was granted. Even on the dreamless nights, I drowned myself in the nothingness of silence and black. The obsolete of the night was what I actually enjoyed. Even if I cried myself to sleep at night, at least I knew that I wasn't necessarily getting harmed in my dreams. They weren't night terrors, more like twisted fantasies of what my mind could create.

When my mother had left the room, I came to the realization of what today was. It made me hate waking up even more. Not only did I have to go to the hospital, but I'd have to go with Tyler.

I rushed down the stairs just as I finished brushing my teeth. I had contemplated how I was going to ask my mother about Tyler, simply because right now, my mind was raising with questions, and all of them were about him. Finally, I decided on questioning something that was of my major interest.

"Mom, is Tyler coming in the car with us, or is he going to meet us at the hospital?" My eyebrows were furrowed to the point in which they could be glued to each other. I was also breathing heavily, due to me having to rush down the stairs, all while carrying an oxygen tank.

"He said he'd meet us at the hospital, don't worry about it too much," she smiled, her eyes widening. Was her smile a way of making fun of me? For being anxious?

"Your tube," I heard her say. She then motioned toward her nose. I gasped and looked around me. Grasping the tube that was clinging to a piece of my clothing, I clumsily placed it back where it belonged. I realized that now, was not the time to freak out, but to contain my anxiousness for when we are at the hospital.

"Okay, okay," I mumbled while looking out the car window. At that moment, my mother and I were on our way to the hospital. My feet had been moving to the rhythm of a song playing on the radio. One of those 80's throwbacks. At least they weren't bringing back songs that came out during the Great Depression. In a time like this, nobody would want to remember 2008.

The crisis was affecting everyone, and for once, my mother had thought of actually missing this appointment, that is, until I mentioned the fact that Tyler was going, and we couldn't just ditch him at the hospital. I noticed that my mother had started getting more phone calls, I assumed that it was just her talking to a guy she probably met. It would make sense, but if I put the financial crisis into the dilemma, it would much rather be something about taxes.

It seemed as if time would go slow today because the streets seem to be clearer, and the wind was heavy. I wanted nothing but today to go as fast as possible, at least the time I would spend at the hospital was what I wanted to go extremely fast. But it wasn't, seeing as the time didn't fly by like a rocketship, but slower than a turtle.

I was still mumbling the apology I and Stella had crafted. I did that same thing for the rest of the car ride. Time didn't seem to go faster, which was most likely due to my "not waking up" policy. The policy was made up in my mind, stating that I would take time to do things, and if waking up early comes into play, I would definitely have a bad day. 

Possible outcomes: Stress, crying, asthma attacks, and scoldings from my mother ordering me to wake up constantly.

Stressing was something natural to me, but on my "not waking up" policy days, it would become more prominent. It would increase, and without a doubt, I always seemed to find something to stress about. In the case of today, what had me stressed out were both the appointment and Tyler.