Genshin Men x Reader [One-shots]

Genshin men as call center agents

extra context: Aether started a company called Smoodeez, its tagline is "It's a mood you can drink" (got the idea from todd in bj horseman lol i love him) and the boys work there as call center agents for extra help. There has been a lot of questions lately.

— #

DILUC

- quiet one, likes to get straight to the point so it can be finished asap

- gets annoyed very easily (when he has energy)

"Do you have a horny drink? My mood right now is horny"

"Yes. We do."

"The name of the drink is horny?"

"Yes. Sir"

"You sure?"

"For the love of Barbatos, Luigi, you've been fucking asking that question for the last seven fucking minutes. The goddamn drink is called horny because it's a fucking mood and our motherfucking store is called SMOODEEZ, it's a goddamn mood you can drink! I'm going to go get myself a fucking angry drink right now because of you!"

"FUCK YOU, 1 STAR!!" — end call

- gets annoyed very easily (when he has no energy)

"I've been telling you for ten minutes already. I WANT THE DRINK HOT"

"SIIIIIIIGHHHHHHHH"

"Excuse me? Did you just say the word sigh?"

"Yes. Also, there are no hot smoothies. Goodbye" — ends call

- hate it when Kaeya and Childe eat food on their desks but he does the exact same thing

- most likely to rage and flip out

ZHONGLI

- earphones only cuz he broke

- he doesn't even know what they are selling, he's only in it for the money

- tries to act like he knows everything when it's the opposite

- is actually a fast learner and a smooth talker

- can get anybody to do anything for him (this is what he thinks. the truth is, it's only childe, his desk buddy, who does things for him)

"I'm feeling kind of thirsty"

"I'm going to go get some water"

—

"What an adorable tanuki teapot"

"Already bought it"

—

"How do you- do this?"

"Here, let me do it for you"

- always say the customers have to sign a contract before ordering

KAEYA

- doesn't even answer calls most of the time

- pretends he's a cop

"Hey, um hi, I just have a question about your delivery services? Do you make deliveries in Inazuma?"

"Sir, this is the Inazuma Police, is something the matter?"

"Police? Oh uh sorry wrong number"

"Be careful next time" — ends call

Aether: "What the fuck, Kaeya?"

- always take breaks, likes to hang out in the bathroom (especially when thoma is in there to tease him)

"What's up, Thoma?"

"Stop staring at my dick, Kaeya"

"Geez. Just comparing is all"

—

"Oh Lord, why are you always here?"

"What? I gotta pee"

"Kaeya, please don't pee on my shoe like last time. That was a new one"

- answer calls just to prank customers

- is a hoe

- if it wasn't for the lack of workers, he's be fired

CHILDE

- doesn't explain anything, just pushes the customers to go and buy it

"I just have to make sure about your business. It seems pretty interesting but also pretty stupid at the same time"

"I'm drinking one right now and I love it, buy it now, the stocks are limited, a lot of people are buying! Hurry! Hurry!"

"O-Ok! I'm on my way!"

- always flirts with zhongli but zhongli doesn't realize this

- only works there because of zhongli, he doesn't even need the money

- speaks to his siblings on the phone most of the time, "sibs unite for an hour" as what he calls it

- actually does his job well

- the business is still standing because he pays for it, so he could work with zhongli

- most likely to pay a customer just so they could stop talking

THOMA

- tries his best but the customers who always call are very specific and mean

- just wants to help everybody but his co-workers are either mean, too inlove or stupid

"Mr. Zhongli, need help in the —"

Childe: "Back off dude, I got this, I got it"

Zhongli: "So aggressive. I apologize Thoma"

—

"Hey, do you need to print something? I'm going to the —"

Xiao: "No, leave me alone. Kaeya said you shit while standing. That's a red flag"

"What the fuck?"

—

"Kaeya, are you spreading rumors about me?"

Kaeya: "Yeah, it's pretty funny"

"Is it because my dick is bigger than yours?"

Kaeya: "... n-no"

-

"Diluc-"

Diluc: "NO

/sad thoma noises/

- is also their janitor

- #stressed

XIAO

- first call of the day and he already wants to pass away

- the laziest one of them all, he just sleeps

- would rather die than to deal with a karen

- pretends he's working

- almond tofu

"Are your smoodez limited? I mean do you have all the moods in the world?"

"Just buy almond tofu, it's way better"

"I want smoodez"

"Goodbye" — end call

/angry aether coming/

- most likely to curse a customer or make a customer cry

- hates his co-workers, would rather shit himself than to talk to them willingly

- gen z