MUST'VE BEEN A DEADLY KISS

03: i realized what our split has done to us

it's the next day- just over twenty-four hours since that encounter with jisung's ex- well, minho never really knew about his presence there. in ways, yes, that relieved him. but he wondered sometimes if minho wished to see him too.

he isn't able to sleep as well like always. but lately, he's been way too tired and he could only assume he is just over working himself. a bowl of cereal, some yogurt and his suppressants were all he had consumed and it was already five in the evening. it was just terrible- he was losing responsibility for himself and he knew he should work on it.

jisung just feels too unmotivated these days that it's actually taking a great toll on him physically. he knows he should eat healthier and get all his nutrients in but he doesn't have much free time to go grocery shopping. maybe he'd go one of these days.

while laying in his bed and watching the sun set at his window, jisung is painfully reminded, oh, painfully reminded that he still has another shift at night. at the bar. no, it wasn't sketchy at all- things didn't really get out of hand at his work place and he was grateful for that. the bar is elegant and quite classy if you asked. it was located in the heart of the city, where all the typical wealthy would hang out.

sometimes, jisung works so long that he has to book a room at the hotel the bar is located in. he doesn't mind working overtime, because, more pay and he knocks out right away. working was just a handful of things that would take his mind off of his thoughts sometimes, so he didn't really mind.

he didn't have much friends or acquaintances either. he was always a little bit of a loner or, everyone knew him and all but never really got to be friends with him. it has always been that way since middle school. he thought it would transition into university too, but, that was when he met him in his second year.

lee minho. his college boyfriend.

it is sad to think about the fact that they just treat each other like strangers now- no contact or meet-ups, whatsoever. after almost four years of dating, they throw everything away. all because of jisung. all because of that little disagreement- it led to the downfall of their relationship.

jisung has enough destructive thoughts, but he can't seem to get that one out of his mind. it does irritate him a little bit, but he is so full of regret that he can't help but blame himself all the time. his mindset is so broken but hey, no one's mind is all flower fields and rainbows.

jisung notices the increase in toxic thoughts though. he doesn't like it one bit. he tries to get rid of them. but then, when he thinks of the only potential way to get rid of them, he calls himself selfish.

perhaps, it's only minho who can keep him in a bright place.

why does it have to be him?

he wants to move on so bad, because it's clear minho has already, but he is just so attached to him.

it's so hard.

he doesn't want to be alone anymore. without minho.

why can't it be anyone but him..?

the bar tonight is busier than most days, considering the fact that it is the first day of the weekend. customers come in waves, all taking up a seat on the bar stools or in booths. there's smooth jazz playing in the background and jisung is overwhelmed with many different faint scents.

just like all of the other waiters and waitresses out there, he's dressed in a formal get-up. a white dress shirt with a simple black vest over it, a loose tie hanging around his neck. the black pants fit around his slim waist just right and he wears a half apron like he does in the mornings.