May We Meet Again - Bellarke -

Do or Die

-Clarke-

I woke scrawled beside the bodies, for a moment I just lay there like one of them wondering if I could live with the guilt of what I had done. The ache in my heart was so strong I almost felt paralyzed by it.

I closed my eyes thinking of Finn, of Wells, of my father. I had lost so much in such a short time. I thought of my mother, of Bellamy, of Raven and Octavia, of how much they meant to me even though we didn't always see eye to eye. I thought of Lexa and all 44 of my friends who had been trapped inside here, of how hard I had fought to save them, of what saving them had cost me.

Since the very first day I landed on the ground I had fought to keep my friends safe. Each day had been a constant battle, a do or die concept with no happy ending in sight. I was tired of it all. I was tired of fighting. My heart couldn't take it anymore. I was broken.

"They did it. They killed them all," an angry voice snapped me from my melancholy musings.

Slowly I turned my head towards the voice, careful not to alert the speaker of my presence. My eyes went wide with surprise when they fall on Emerson.

He's crouching by the bodies, shaking his head in disbelief. I watch him silently remembering him trying to break down the door, trying to stop us from doing this. For just a moment I wish he had stopped us.

He's stepping over the bodies, examining them all. His face is contorted with grief. I recognized his expression. I'd seen it before, on Bellamy looking for Octavia, on Raven after I'd mercifully sacrificed Finn. Emerson had lost somebody he cared about here. He was looking for their body.

I had caused the pain on his face and for a moment I pitied him. Then I realized he was closing too much distance between him and I. My survival instincts kicked in and I realized I was too late to run. Emerson was going to discover me.

My gun was beside me but I couldn't reach it without making too much noise. He was so close to me now. I edged my hand towards my belt, firmly griping my knife in a defiant fist. I tilted my head slightly, letting my hair fan across my eyes, in a failed attempt to conceal my face.

I held my breath trying to silence my breathing at he examined the body by my side. Naively I hoped he wouldn't find me but it was too late. He was suddenly crouched before me, gripping my shoulders firmly.

As his face leveled with mine his eyes burned with anger and he barked manically, "You. You did this!"

Instinctively I yanked the knife from my belt and thrust it into his waist. He cursed in pain realizing his grip on my shoulders as he staggered backwards.

I kicked myself up from the ground, carelessly forgetting my gun as I quickly bolt towards the door. In my hast I stupidly trip over a body and come crashing down. Panic-stricken I push myself back to my feet twisting around to see Emerson advancing on me, clutching my gun in his hand.

A gunshot cracks loudly. The shot narrowly misses me as he bellows, "STOP OR I'LL SHOOT!"

My eyes wild with fear I pause, turning to face him with my arms held up defenselessly, seeing no possible escape.

-X-