May We Meet Again - Bellarke -

Poison

-Bellamy-

I'm sat in the hospital bay. A cannula in my arm pumping medicine into my blood stream. Abby wanted me to lay down but I refused to do that.

The poison had caused angry blisters to form. The worse of them inside my mouth, making it impossible for me to speak. I couldn't speak, so the hell with lying down. I wouldn't let the poison weaken me anymore than necessary.

My mouth was sore. My knuckles too. Blisters had formed over the cuts and they burned painfully. I clenched my fists fiercely, trying to ignore the sting.

Miller and the others from my search party had been quarantined in the other bay. Though currently they showed no symptoms.

So far only I seemed to be affected by the poison. Abby had explained that this was because the poison had entered my blood stream via the cuts on my knuckles. In turn accelerating the spread of the poison.

The medicine would help slow down the spread but it wouldn't cure it. Only the antidote would do that.

Lincoln and Octavia had left camp to retrieve the antidote. I tried not to worry what would happen if they couldn't find it. Would I forever be unable to speak? Or would the outcome be worse than that? I couldn't think about that! I wouldn't let myself think about that.

Abby checked my vitals again. Despite her professional manner it was obvious how tired she was. Her eyes were tired, the darken circles below them a tell tale sign of her worry for Clarke.

Clarke! We were supposed to be looking for her and Jasper. The plan was to speak to Lincoln, then look for them at Mount Weather. That had been our plan.
Poisonous talismans, hospital bays and quarantines had not been apart of that plan. Yet here I was. Unable to proceed with the original plan.

I should have listened to Monty and gone straight to Mount Weather, instead of insisting on checking the drop ship first. If I had have listened to Monty, then I wouldn't have seen the blood bath at our drop ship. I wouldn't have found the talisman. I wouldn't have been poisoned.

If we had have gone straight to Mount Weather then perhaps we would have found Clarke and Jasper by now. Perhaps we would know they were safe.

They had to be safe. They just had to be. Clarke had to be safe. I don't know what I would do if she wasn't. If anything had happened to her, then I don't know what I would do. How would I live with myself? How would I live without her?

"Your blood pressure is significantly rising. Is there something wrong? Are you in pain?" Abby asks sounding worried.

For a moment I forget about the blisters in my mouth and move my lips to speak. No words form though so instead I shake my head and roll my eyes in frustration.

I hated this. I hated being poisoned. I hated not being able to speak. But most of all I hated being stuck here when I should be out there looking for Clarke. I was no good to Clarke here. I was no good to anybody while being stuck here.

"They'll find the antidote," Abby soothed her voice full of confidence. I wasn't worried about that though. I wasn't worried about myself. I was worried about Clarke. Clarke and Jasper were who I was worried about.

The voice in my head was still shouting Clarke's name. I felt as though my own mind was taunting me for feeling more than I should.

I could pin point the exact moments that I began to see Clarke differently. The exact few moments when my mind crossed over the line. Even though I tried to deny it, tried to ignore it. I exhale deeply, shutting my eyes, as I remember those moments.