Parallel {My Second Life As Sakura Haruno}

No Warnings, Into The Forest Of Death!

When I opened my eyes, my first thought was, 'Where the fuck am I?'.
I expected to see normality, blandness, and the grey ceiling of my room. The vase on my bedside cabinet with nothing but water in it. The limited-edition Naruto poster to the right, and the closed window on my left.

What I didn't expect, however, was to see two boys lying unconscious in front of me. One being color-coded navy blue, and the other orange. Both with damp towels on their foreheads. Beside me was a small bowl of water, presumably used for the towels on them.
I seemed to be wearing a red dress, with a strangely familiar circular pattern at the bottom.

My second thought was, 'I'm in Naruto as Sakura, during the Forest of Death arc.' It would explain the enthusiastic cosplayers in front of me, and the giant tree we're in.

The thought that followed was, 'Just kidding! That's impossible, Naruto doesn't exist. Besides, if I was in the Naruto series as Sakura, then where's her inner voice?'

The ideas clouding my mind quickly disbanded as a squirrel started running toward me from the bushes. The same squirrel that has explosive paper stuck to its back. That's the same squirrel from when the sound ninja attacked Sakura in the show. This is all a dream, so I'll use this one opportunity to do something I've never been able to do, pet a squirrel! If the sound ninjas try to attack I'll just use my lucid dream magic and delete them.

Plus I know all of their tactics from my religious devotion to the show.

I wait until the squirrel is close enough, and pick it up. "Why hello there! Are you here to help me release my stress?" I nodded to myself before saying. "Yes? Why how nice of you!" I pulled a kunai from my pocket and began to squeeze the squirrel until it opened its mouth and squeaked. "Eat up~" The kunai didn't fit, but I still force-fed it to the squirrel. I watched as it was torn apart from the inside until the kunai went all the way through.

It bled a little, but it wasn't anything I hadn't seen before. I tore off the explosion paper from the squirrel in disappointment. "Were you trying to injure me? That's so mean of you! And here I thought you were on my side.." I picked up the squirrel corpse and balled it up with the explosion paper. I took a standing position. Both my hands encased the squirrel ball. Turning 90 degrees and lifting my leg, I chucked it with a form that even the greatest baseball pitchers couldn't perfect.

"You're out!" The duh-duh--dun-dun-dun-duh played out in my head as if I was in wii sports.

It didn't go as far as I thought it would go, but the blood rain it made in the air was quite magnificent.

I turned back around and squatted. I stared into the faces of the two cosplayers. I could feel resentment welling up from inside me. Probably because they'll amount to more than I ever will, here or in real life, even with the lucid dream magic. Maybe it was from Sakura, but I honestly couldn't give a shit at this point. It's my dream, so I'll do whatever I want.

I quickly mapped out what happened during this episode. For some reason, the other sound ninja didn't interfere much when Sakura was chewing on their teammate. 'I might as well imitate that fight while going for the kill instead of just biting his arm. Actually... You know what? I'll use Sakura's chakra control to try to use her super strength! Why not? It'll probably be fine since it's just a dream.'

"You know what? I kinda feel like cutting my hair. I need character development, it'll just get in the way, and I already know how to do layers and everything! Seems like a win to me!" I stood up and pulled out a kunai. Grabbing all of it at once, I chopped it all off. Well, not all of it, I don't have a razor. Just top of the neck short. 'Once the fight is over I'll make it look like one of those k-pop idol haircuts. They're quite trendy these days.'