Let the sunlight warm your heart ||SamBucky au||

Tell me all about it

Please read the notes in the end.

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Ever since meeting Sam, Bucky wanted to give this whole dating thing another try. He felt this magnetic attraction pulling him toward the man, his mind always telling him that Sam is going to be a nice guy for him. But Bucky didn't want to jinx anything, he wanted to tell Sam everything first. He wanted Sam to know about his nervousness, his fears, how his past and only boyfriend's behavior affected him, and how attached he gets to people who care even a little bit about him.

He certainly didn't think he'd just spill his heart out to Sam while watching a movie and crying his eyes out.

It has sort of become a thing of their own. Every Friday, they would hang out at Sam's house and watch a movie together. The first time had been pretty awkward, but now they cuddle up to each other as soon as the movie starts playing with a bowl full of popcorn.

Today they were just having one of those movie dates huddled together under a fluffy blanket until Bucky started sniffling and Sam noticed right away.

"Hey hey, what's going on, Buck? You okay?"

"I- yeah... It's just the m-movie... It's... Feels too real..." Bucky hiccups, pressing his face on Sam's chest, desperately trying to find an anchor to hold on to.

It's a movie about this toxic relationship between a lovely girl and a boy, who happens to be a cheating jerk. Everything portrayed in there seems so real, so close to how Rumlow treated Bucky and he just cannot get that out of his head. It feels like reliving those horrible moments and he cannot help but let out sobs of distress.

"Shh, I'm here Buck, we can talk if you want, or we can just cuddle, but please calm down love, it's gonna be alright." Sam tries his best to soothe his friend, confusion clouding his mind.

Bucky calms down after a while. When his mind tells him that it's now or never, he has to tell Sam everything and just has to let it all out, he does.

"I wanna tell you something, Sam. A lot of things, if you wanna listen." Bucky looks at Sam, his eyelashes clumped together with his tears, looking so beautiful yet so afraid, so broken.

"Of course, I'd listen to you, Buck. You can tell me anything." Sam smiles softly at Bucky, hoping to calm his nerves.

After taking a few deep breaths, with a shaky voice, Bucky starts to speak.

"I've always been... very shy and... nervous around people. Always kept to myself, my only friends were my mom and Steve. I was always the quiet kid, lurking in the backseat, hunched over my sketchbook. Never had any luck with dating before and after I came out. the thing is, I noticed other kids staring at me, every once in a while Steve would tell me about some random kid who would like to hang out and possibly hook up with me... if I wasn't so... closed off or reserved... whatever. He would tell me to ignore them, and I did anyway... until Rumlow came into my life, my first love, the only boyfriend I ever had... and the person who messed up my mental health issues up to a point where... I don't know if I will ever be able to not be insecure." Bucky takes another trembling deep breath, and starts speaking again.

"At first he was so nice to me, praising my looks, my art and what not. But day by day he noticed how tough it was to get me... to sleep with him. He was still nice, but would get angry on me... and say rude stuff every once in a while. Like how I'm so difficult, how I'm always into my art works and don't pay attention to him. For the record, I was the one doing literally every single thing around the house when we moved in together. I was the one who always had to wait for him to come back, drunk, almost every night. Always kept throwing snarky comments at me, and then would apologize. For some reason I just couldn't leave him. But then one day I found out he was cheating on me, almost all the time while we were dating. Found out his texts to his friends and hook ups, where he clearly stated that he was just with me for the money I earned and gave him without any questions. He would spend my hard earned money on alcohol and his other... I don't know if I should say partners... Whatever. And then coming back home, he would make fun of me being shy, reserved, afraid and mostly, my art. After finding out about the cheating, I broke up with him, he said even more hurtful things, that led to me being extremely scared of meeting new people in future. But then again, I always get so attached with people who show me even a little bit of support and care. Moving on from that failed relationship of two years was really... Painful to say the least. But my mom, Steve, Tony and Wanda helped a lot. And then..." Bucky pauses for a while, trying to find and form his words for his next and final confession.

"Then what Bucky?" Sam whispers softly, his concerned and worried making him think that some bad happened again.

"Then you came here and settled down next to me." Bucky smiles gently, trying to ease his own anxiety, mostly.

"Thank God!" Sam exclaims all of a sudden, startling Bucky.

"Huh?"

"Um... I mean, when you paused, I thought something worse happened, turns out it's just about me moving in here, so it's fine I guess." Sam flashes an embarrassed and unbelievably cute grin, making Bucky's heart flutter.

"Yes, I was kinda wary about meeting you first, but then I got to know you... the way you always treat me... and how nice you are to everyone. Then I thought, maybe I'll give this dating stuff another chance. I mean... If you want to then... we can be a thing, I thought..." Bucky finishes, blushing brightly and ducking his head down. Then he feels Sam's hand settling under his jaw, gently urging him to look up.

"I'm so, so sorry for all the painful experiences you had. And... I'm so glad about the fact that you trust me enough to tell me all these. And the fact that you like me, the way I've been liking you since I moved in here." Sam smiles seeing the realization dawning on Bucky's face, and the blue eyed man surges forward and wraps his arms around Sam in the tightest hug.

After a few moments, they pull away, now staring at each other lovingly.

"Can I..." Bucky whispers softly, his eyes settled on Sam's lips.

"Yes, love, of course."

And that's all Bucky needs to know before he locks his own lips with Sam's, their hearts beating faster than ever, hands moving on their own accords. The softness and love they express through the kiss, it surrounds them, making them feel whole.

Sam touches his forehead with Bucky's, and then smiles to himself.

"You know, you're like the sunlight... Whenever you are around me, everything seems so fresh and warm." Bucky speaks softly.

"Then I'll keep your heart warm from now on, love."

The end

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I hope this story was good. I decided to keep it short, as I'm going to write the initial plot for this storyline anyway. And I always had the idea to wrap this up as soon as I get to them confessing, so yeah.

Ever since I started writing, I keep procrastinating, then panicking, then writing and updating. I can do much better if I use my time properly, and really put my thoughts into it.

So I've decided that from now on, I'll publish every Monday. Chapters will be longer, at least with 2.5k-3k words. I'll try my best to write better.

For the updates of the initial plot, I'll finish writing it all at first, then I'll publish the whole story, Everyday a chapter.

Thanks so much to everyone reading, voting and commenting on my stories, it means so much to me ❤️❤️

So until next Monday, take care, be safe ❤️