Aurora, Illinois

The Book of Cow

The Midwest has its own gospel. Perhaps it is the Book of Corn. Maybe the Book of Cow. Either way, it is as serious as Hell. 

One tenet of that book is that truly great pie can change the course of one's life. Yesterday, Diego Sanchez would've said that was nonsense. But today he was a True Believer. Apple pie with streusel crust (the crumbly stuff in coffee cake) and a side of cinnamon ice cream. Praise the Lord.

Today Diego intended to question York Couth. He had some kind of relationship with Adelina. He didn't want to lament "the way kids today behave" but York and Adelina were somewhere on the spectrum between passing notes in class and looking for a nice condo to mortgage. There were conflicting reports. 

York somehow had it in his head that if he could just sit down and reason with an FBI agent, everything would be just hunky dory for him.

And so it is time for another tenet of the Book of Cow. If the cops want to talk to you, you have to talk to them.

This is a bad idea. Your first clue is that cops say, "anything that you say can be used against you in a court of law." That is not what your friends say to you. That is what people who beat confessions out of other people say. Also, if it goes to court, it's up to the cops to try to prove you committed a crime. Why would you want to help them? You might be thinking, "Well if I don't say anything, I'll look guilty." You're right. You will look guilty. But you 'looking guilty' proves nothing and is worth diddlysquat in court.

But Midwestern folk are, with some exceptions, a mannerly people. And so, they talk to cops when they are under arrest.

In a narrow room in the local police department, Diego began, "Hello York. I'm Diego. I need to ask you some questions about Adelina. Would that be okay? You are allowed to have an attorney present."

"Sure, I got nothing to hide.  I don't have a lawyer. You think you're gonna catch the guy who killed her," asked York.

"That would be assuming that someone killed her and that such person was a male. We are not certain of either yet. Did you know Adelina?" asked Diego.

"Pshhh. Did I know her? Yeah you could say that," said York.

"How would you put it?" said Diego.

"She was one of my three, until she kicked it," said York.

"One of three?" asked Diego.

"I'm in my prime. I had three chicks. Y'know, to keep things interesting. So you got something to do every night."

"Didn't that bother Adelina or one of the other two?"

"Not really. The way I figure, a girl's gonna suspect you're cheating all the time. You just say, 'No, Baby, I would never do that to you. I respect you way too much.' Then you cheat anyway," said York.

"Did Adelina ever make you mad?" asked Diego.

"No. Never," said York.

"How long did you see her?"

"Uhh, five, six months. Wait, going back, there was one time she made me mad. We were hanging out with this linebacker from the school team, Troy. He said he was worried about some science test and then Adelina was all like, 'You don't have to worry about that. You'll get a football scholarship to school.' Troy's a good guy and smart. I told her to meet me on the porch, and I sort of shoved her so she would know not to talk to my friends like that."

"But that wasn't normal for the two of you, was it?"

"What wasn't normal? We hung out with friends a lot."

"I mean, you pushing her," said Diego.

"Whoa, whoa. Don't get it twisted. I would never, ever hurt her. But I couldn't let her talk that way. I would look like a fool. I wasn't one of those guys who beats up girls. I'm not. Haven't you ever gotten just pissed at a girl?" asked York.

Diego knew better than to answer directly. He redirected, "Where were you at 3 AM on February 23rd?"

"Duh. I sleep at 3 AM. I was at home in my bed."

"I think you should take this seriously. Can anyone confirm that you were there?"

"Yeah, my mom. Wait, was that Sunday night going into Monday?"

Diego checked his notes, "That's right."

"Crap. Mom was working a graveyard shift at the hospital."

"Where was your Dad?"

York sighed.