The Mistake Of Trusting

Maybe I Won't Wake Up

I didn't go to school for the rest of the week. To be honest, I'm scared of this 'Julia' character. I've thought about her words and her appearance, but I still don't recognise her. I do know that there's no way in Hell she's younger than seventeen, I know that much! She must be a senior. Did Jenna know her? I don't think Jenna was friends with a girl like Julia. I do want to know what Julia has against me. I'm going to have a full on panic attack if I don't get my min off of this, but it's too late. My whole body is shaking an my thoughts are racing. My heart is beating so fast, I swear the skin on my chest is tearing. I hid under the covers of my bed and attempted to text Matthew, but my eyes are so blurred with tears, I can't see what I'm typing. After I assumed I pressed send, I worked on calming myself down. If Jenna were here, she'd sing to me, not very well, but she still did it. Moments later, my phone buzzed, signalling that Matthew has responded.
Matthew: what?
When my eyes cleared up, I saw that I had typed a bunch of random letters. I just told him to disregard that text.
Matthew: Drew told me something about you...
"Shit!" I cursed out loud. I then proceeded to call Drew; he's so dead.
"Hello?" A very tired Drew answered.
"What the hell, Drew?!" I shouted. There was a moment of dead silence between us.
"I'm sorry... What?"
"I got a very interesting text from Matthew!" I informed.
"Okay, and what do I have to do with that?" He groaned.
"He said, and I quote, 'Drew told me something about you'." I challenged.
"What- huh?"
"You told Matt about me smoking!" I accused.
He paused before speaking, "Jay, I didn't tell him."
"Then what could he be talking about?!" I wondered as I began pacing my room. "Why would you tell him?"
"Jay, I promise you I didn't!" Drew calmly said.
"Promise?" I emotionlessly said. I need him to promise.
"I promise." He said.
"Okay, thank you." I breathed out. I then hung up on him and called Matthew so I could clear this whole thing up.
"Jay!" Matthew happily answered.
"Why did Drew tell you?" I went straight to the point. There's no need to dance around this.
"Oh," he coughed. "That's not important."
"Well, it's about me, so I think I have the right to know!" I reasoned.
"Jay, it really doesn't matter." He quietly said.
"It obviously does, because you texted me about it!"
"Why don't you ask Drew?!" Matthew yelled.
"I did." I whispered.
"Drew's such a little bitch. I'll go talk to him!" Matthew roared. With that, he left me alone with the buzz of an ended call.
What is wrong with me? This is why I should make friends, trust them, etc. Because of me, my best friends are fighting. I could use a cig right now.
Thanks Drew Walters.
Now here I am, falling back into the dark hole that is my thoughts. Maybe I should make like Jenna and hang myself.
It's not like my dad will care, my mom will probably never know, and my friends will eventually move on. I'm only going to get worse, so why don't I just stop this pain?
I pulled out more paper so I could write a goodbye to my dad.
--
Dad,
I don't even care about what you think. But I do love you. I'm sorry.
--
I folded the paper and set it on my dresser. I have nothing to really say to my dad, and honestly, I don't have anything to say to anyone. I crumbled up the note to my dad and threw it in the trash bin.
'Call Drew.' I thought.
No, I won't.
I can't.
Maybe I should just wait life out. This hell might cool down. I just need some sleep.
Maybe I won't wake up.
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[A/N]
Short chapter.
Lol it's not like anyone is reading this anyways.