The Mistake Of Trusting

Epilouge

"Maria, let's go!" I call out as I slide on my back jacket. I slid my phone into my back pocket.
"I'm coming, I'm coming!" My red-headed best friend yelled as she runs down the stairs.
"Come on, we can't be late for the bus!" I whine as Maria meets me at the bottom of the stairs.
"I'm here, Jaylee. We can go now!"
--------
Luckily, we made it to the bus, which would drive us into LA.
Maria and I are staying here for our spring break, then it's back to university. Our third year, that is. I wanted to go to Washington state to visit my dad, but we don't have the time or the money. The hotel, well, motel, we're staying in is really... Shitty. And I mean really, really, really shitty. But it's all we can afford.
Today, we're going into LA to do some sight-seeing and shopping. I want a new bass, so we're going to stop at a guitar shop as well.
"J-J, I swear to God!" Maria suddenly screeched as she points out the window.
"What?"
"Look!"
I look out the window next to her to see what she's freaking out over. Oh... It's a huge dark cloud.
"We're fine." I reassured.
"I hope so! I don't want rain to ruin our perfect spring break!"
"The only way it could be ruined is of Bradley were to show up." I tease.
"Shut up!" She laughs, playfully punching my shoulder. "He's not that bad!"
"He's so cheesy!" I groaned.
"He's cheesy, I won't deny that, but I love him!" She defends.
"I know. Hence that fuckin' rock on your finger!"
"Yeah, and? You're the maid of honor, so shhhh!"
"Good point." I chuckle.
"So," she sighs. "What's the plan, Stan?"
"You not calling me Stan."
"Take a joke, asshat!"
"Make me, dick shoes!"
With the most serious face ever, Maria casually points out, "We're twenty one."
"Haha, and?"
"We should start being more mature..."
Milliseconds later, we burst out laughing, and laughing, an laughing.
"Yeah, not gonna happen." I say while still laughing.
The bus abruptly stopped and the bus driver muttered words over the intercom. The doors open and people begin spilling into from the bus, on to the streets. Us being part of those people.
"Did you change?" I ask Maria as I flip on my black ray-ban sunglasses.
"Yes." She smiles as she does a twirl in her knee-length, navy sun dress.
"Way to be dressed for the occasion." I joke.
"Well, yeah. I'm in LA, you better believe I'm dressing up!"
"Whatever floats your boat..."
"Oh, shut up! You've been dressing the way you do since I met!" Maria laughs.
"And what would that be?"
"Punky, slightly hippy..."
I chuckle at this and shrug. She's not exactly wrong.
-----------
After a good four hours, and lunch, we ran out of things to do... Or money. Whatever, the details aren't important.
Maria has three very large shopping bags, while I only have one... Average... Sized one.
"This has actually been really fun!" Maria smiles as we walk down a fairly- popular street.
"Indeed it has, Ms. Anderson. Indeed it has..." I faked a posh accent.
"Hey!" She suddenly pipes up.
"Hey?"
"Do you still want to stop by the guitar shop we saw when we first got here?"
"I'd love to," I laughed. "But I don't have that kind of money."
"Don't worry about it!"
I shoot her am evil glare.
"You will not pay for a brand new, PROFESSIONAL bass!"
"Oh, but I will."
"Nope! I will not allow you to!" I refuse.
"Then I guess I'll by MYSELF a new bass." She insists.
I give in with a sigh, "okay, we'll walk in, but that doesn't mean we'll buy anything!"
"Deal." She smirks as she shakes me free hand.
"Where is it again?" I wonder.
"We passed it like two blocks ago." Maria recalls.
"Two blocks?" I groan.
"Oh, come on, lazy ass!" She laughs as we turn around.
---
With every step and every cross-walk, my feet grew more and more tired. I will admit, I am very excited to see what this shop has to offer. I remember picking up bass in my junior year of high school; my first one was a gift from my aunt Sandra. I never played in, or intended to be in a band. I just really loved playing.
"Jaylee!" Maria yells as she sticks out her arm in front of me to stop me.
"What?"
"Beige's guitar shop and repair!" She gleams.
"I've never heard of Beige's." I say as I examine the old store. There's no doubt in my mind that this building itself is old, but it is clearly well maintained and refurbished.
"Well, now you have! I've read all about this place! Lets go in!" Maria excitedly says as she pushes the shop's door open.
A small bell jingled as we walked in. I was immediately greeted by the smell of smoke and old things.
"One moment!" A male voice yells.
Maria and I walk over to a wall of guitar books.
"Pink Floyd, Greenday, Radiohead!" I list as I look through the books. "Mot-" I stopped myself.
"Mötley Crüe? You a fan?" The same male voice asks.
I turn around to meet the mysterious worker.
"Yeah-" I casually answer.
"Holy shit!" He screeched as he backed up.
"What, what?!" I panicked.
The tall guy ran to the store doors and quickly locked them. When he returned, his mouth was hanging wide open.
"J-Jay... Jay Morrison?" He stutters.
I take a step back and let out a gasp.
"How the hell-" I start, but am soon cut off.
"Matthew."
In that moment, I wasn't in a guitar shop in LA, I was falling in love in Washington. I was dying my hair black and smoking in school. I was stumbling drunk out into my high school's parking lot. I was crying. I was writing a suicide note. I was living for my friends. I was happy.
"Matthew." I cry out.
"I can't believe it." He breathes out.
"You look so different." I cough out.
"You do too!"
"Uh, how do you two know each other?" Maria intervenes.
"Long story." I sigh. "But I'll tell you later. Right now, I'm meeting my best friend all over again."
Matthew wrapped his arms around me and held on tight.
"Ex-boyfriend?" Maria guesses.
"More like brother." I correct.
"Lets talk." Matthew suggests as he takes my cold hand in his and led Maria and I to a back room. We entered the small room and took a seat.
"How old are you now?" I ask as Matthew closes the door.
"Do you not remember?" Matthew jokes.
"Should I?"
"We forgot our birthdays as we can live forever." He reminded me with a shy smile.
"Oh my God, that's right!"
"It's been six, maybe seven years. I've missed you so much, Jay." He genuinely spoke.
"I've missed you waaaay more- where's Jax and Drew?!" I excitedly blurt.
Matthew's face fell.
"Jay...." He whispers with his head down.
I uncomfortably shift in my seat and then glance at a concerned Maria.
"W-What?..."
"This isn't going to be easy. To be honest, I've been partially dreading the day we would encounter again... For this very reason."
"Matt, please tell me!"
Matthew looks broken and ready to cry. I've never seen him cry before. Never. Not even when I left.
"Do you want the good news or the bad news first?" He glumly asks.
"How bad is the bad news?" Maria asks.
"Terrible. It won't be easy for me to say, and not easy for Jay to hear. By the way, what is your name, love?"
"Maria Anderson. I'm Jaylee's roommate and best friend." She half-smiles.
"Give me the good news." I settled.
This cheers Matthew up a bit.
"Jax got married!" He smiles.
"Shut! Up!" I happily yell. "Why wasn't I there?!"
"It was more of a shotgun wedding, but they're married!"
"His wife is pregnant!" I cheered.
"Yup, Hallie is her name, she took Jax's last name... Obviously. She's perfect for Jax, I swear!" He laughs.
"And the baby?" Maria adds.
"Hal should be having him any day now." Matthew proudly states.
"It's a boy." I whisper.
"They're gonna name him Blake." He smiles.
"That's awesome!" I cry. "Do you guys keep in touch?!"
"Oh yeah! He lives close to me, and I live in north Cal."
"What about you?..." I nudge.
"I've got a girl, if that's what you're asking. We've only been together for five months, but I really think I love her. She's amazing."
"Who's the lucky girl?!"
"Liz Wimbley."
"I'm so happy for you!" I congratulate. "That makes me so happy to hear you've moved on from Sara.. Now time for the bad news."
"Oh. Yeah." Matthew sighs. "There's no easy way to say this. Drew... D.. Drew is... Drew is dead."
I swear to God, my heart stopped. My whole body froze and I grew cold.
"A..A-Are you serious?" I manage to ask.
"I wish I wasn't. But I am serious. Drew took his life three years ago." Matthew began crying.
Drew Walters killed hisself. He... Ended... His own... Life.
"Why?" I choke out.
I'm trying my hardest to stay calm, but it's not working out for me.
"Jay, he loved you. He loved you do much. The day you left was the day he changed. For the first month, he was okay. I guess. Months later, he started sleeping around, then drinking, then smoking, and other illegal substances. He dropped out of school three months before graduation. He wasn't passing anyways. He moved out to California. I'm not sure how he paid for it." Matthew is struggling to keep his composure, it's clear. "He... He even got your name tattooed on his upper arm. He also got a rose tattooed behind his right leg. I saw him for the last time when I went with him to get his nose pierced. After that, I never heard from him. Two years later, I had the police at my door."
My tears burned as they ran down both my cheeks. I don't know how to wrap my head around this. He got multiple tattoos for me. He loved me. He slowly killed himself with his self medication. He loved me.
"He lost all control." I push out.
"He loved you with all he had."
"I know." I snap. "Where is he buried."
Matthew couldn't look at me anymore. He turns his head away.
"We cremated him. His body was not... In shape to be in a casket."
"Tell me." I plead.
"Self-mutilatiom, two cups of bleach, holes in his arms from heroine injections, and two shots to the head." Matthew quickly answered.
"We need to go." I say to Maria.
"Do you need a place to stay? You can stay with Liz and I! We'd love to have you!"
"No. No, we really should leave." I say as I stand up and prepare to leave.
"But I just got you back, Jay! Jax and I have missed you so damn much!"
"We should just- let each other go. Bury the past. We all need to move on. I was just a kid, Matt. You guys had a life to live, and I was just staring mine. I'm sorry."
"Please don't!" Matthew begged as he grabbed onto my upper arm.
"We've all changed so much, and I can't go into the past and stay, but I would if I could!"
"Please." He pleaded with tears.
I've never seen him so desperate.
"You know that what this is, is chemical. We're not going anywhere. It's been almost seven years, and I feel like I barely know you! You're different, I'm different!" I yell with tears falling. "We're different people now. I'm in college. I'm finally pulling my life together! I was almost killed in a car wreck! Did you know that?! I was I'm a serious relationship for nineteen months! I bet you didn't know that! My new favorite color is green. I've almost completely mended my relationship with my dad! My aunt is happy again! I-I.... I saw my mom in a grocery store in Nevada last year. She has two young boys now. I've made peace with Jenna. You wouldn't know that because we've drifted!"
Matthew wiped his eyes.
"You saw your mom?" He faintly asks.
"Yes... Matthew, I love you like a brother. I always will. You took me in, made me feel like I belong somewhere, introduced me to some of the greatest people, and mended my broken soul. You saved me. But how can we move forward in life if we're holding on to the past? You know I love you. I love Jax. I loved Drew-"
"Loved." He sadly points out.
"I wish I had stayed, but don't you see I had to go? See, we don't know each other anymore. You know fourteen year old Jay. I'm twenty one. I'm... New. Please Matt, let me go."
With one last tear and a look of understanding, Matthew let go.
I never saw Matthew or Jax again.
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[A/N]
I cried while writing the end of this :(
It's been an amazing experience writing this, I've gotten the chance to experiment with different writing techniques, which was well needed.
This story means so much to me.
I've grown emotionally attached to these characters, and though it hurt me to have Drew die, I felt it was the best choice to make a more interesting and unique story.
I would like to thank all of you for giving my writing a chance, it means so much to me. More than you'll ever know. ❤
I'm not planning on writing a sequel. Sorry ;-;
If you like my writing, check out some of my other stories. It would mean a lot to me.
Thank you for sticking around.
Forget your birthdays so you can live forever.