Outcast (a lashton fanfiction)

chapter 21

Luke's p.o.v.

I hadn't been back to school since the funeral. Three weeks and I still couldn't pull myself out of my bed for anything longer than a shower. I was so behind in school, the pile of make up work on my desk just kept getting higher as the boys kept bringing me my work.

They had started going back about a week after. I knew Bella wouldn't want me to be moping around, putting my life on pause to feel bad.

So, today, when my alarm went off at 6 a.m. on a Wednesday morning, I didn't turn it off and close my eyes. I pulled myself from my bed. I put myself in the shower, I got dressed, I grabbed my book bag.

and I went to school.

My mom seemed shocked to see me coming downstairs, ready to go. A startled air settled around my family.

"I, uh, I'm gonna head to school?" My voice came out unsure of itself and I mentally scolded myself for it.

"Honey," Her face broke out into a soft smile and she came over and took my hands. "That's fine, have fun, stay out with your friends after if you want."

I nodded and pulled my hands from hers. "I'll see you after school." I tried to smile and walked out of the door.

The walk to school was, unsettling, for a lack of a better word.

And walking into school was worse.

Everyone seemed to pause and watch me, they looked at me like I was made of fragile glass and if they breathed wrong I would shatter. Maybe I would have.

I continued walking down the hall, unsure of anything. I hadn't seen Michael or Calum or even Ashton yet. But I did catch myself looking around for Bella. I had to tell myself that she wasn't going to be filling all the spaces she should be. Her locker was empty. Her name wasn't on the attendance lists anymore.

She wasn't here.

"Luke, heyy, what are you doing here?" Michael came up to me and gave me a hug.

I didn't shatter.

"I'm ready," I took a breath. "To be back."

Michael smiled and nodded, I noticed him take a second to study the sweater I was wearing, and a flash of hurt shone in his eyes. It was gone just as quickly as it came. It was a fuzzy white sweater with a few little holes in the sleeves from where Bella had snagged them on things.

"Been lonely without you." He said and looped his arm through mine.

He walked me to first period and we took our seats in the back. Of course when class started I had no clue what was going on, the weeks of makeup work were still piled on my desk at home, not completed.

It went that way for most of my classes.

I couldn't really put myself into any of my work I was so far behind. I kind-of just sat there, listened, and waited for the bell.

Nothing seemed wrong, aside from the fact no one had taken a swing at me yet. I hadn't been to my locker. I didn't need to until lunch. I went to put my bag away, and when I opened my locker, a cascade of defiled pictures of Ashton and I kissing fell at my feet. I started breathing heavily, backing away from the pictures of us with our eyes crossed out, or even "FAGS" written over our faces.

I couldn't breathe. Who did this? There had to be hundreds.

Third person p.o.v.

Luke backed up as far as he could, pressing himself against the other set of lockers. People were staring. He could feel their eyes digging into him. No one moved. Everyone's phones were going off, and the picture had been mass texted to the school.

Everyone knew, and Luke knew he needed to get out of the school. He didn't know who had done it, but they had done it to hurt him, that he knew. He started running through the school, not bothering to stop for anyone. His fight or flight response had kicked it and he was taking flight, because Luke has never been a fighter.

He thought about that as he ran. He always ran. He let anorexia over come him. He let his arms, thighs and stomach become a scarred disaster. Luke thought he was weak. Luke isn't weak, and he never has been. Everyone strong goes through something hard, it's how you know they're strong. 

Luke crashed through the doors, out of breath and ready to collapse. He didn't know where to go. He just knew he needed to find Ashton, or Michael. Hell, he'd thank god for Calum right now. Luke tried to breathe, but it felt like sludge was in his lungs. There was a heavy pit in his stomach. He gasped for air and turned around. He started walking toward the football field, unsteady on his feet and shaking, he got there. What to do, what to do?

"Ashton." Luke croaked, his breathing becoming the slightest bit easier. 

And then he saw the look on Ashtons' face, and wished he wasn't breathing.

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You can love me or hate me. That's up to you, but this story is very shortly coming to an end, and i'm emotional.