Love's Paradox

Chapter 27: Merely a Ploy

Parker and I share a shower in the morning. I'm so blissed out that I should be expecting something to pop my paradise bubble.

"Do you have anything to wear?" I ask while dressing afterward.

"I have some extra clothes at the office; I've had to stay pretty late a few times in the past."

"Good, because you have some leftover ice cream on your collar," I point out. "I doubt you were saving that for later."

He looks in the mirror and fiddles with his collar. "That looks like butter pecan to me."

"Your point?"

"I didn't eat butter pecan. Remember, you bought me the black cherry gelato? So I'm pretty sure this came from you."

"I'm being framed." I give him a mock-innocent look.

"Don't look at me like that. After what you did to me last night, I know you aren't as guileless as you pretend to be," he says with a playful grin.

"I don't know about you, but I need sustenance." I wink at him before leaving the room and heading downstairs. I grab the ice cream from the freezer and take a few bites. Hey, I can argue that it's sort of like milk, therefore a necessary part of a balanced breakfast. Plus, it's never too early to fight off osteoporosis.

I realize I've forgotten my earrings and head back up stairs. Parker is sitting on the bed, pulling on his socks and shoes when I enter. I sit on his lap to open my bedside drawer. The velvet box glares out at me.

"Shit," I say before I can stop myself. Most people have ah-hah moments. Not me. I have ah-fuck moments. Like the one right now.

"What is it?" he asks.

I try to shut the drawer before he can see inside, but he snatches the side of it to stop me. "It's nothing," I say.

He's not stupid, and I'm a fool for thinking he'll just let this go. He plucks the velvet box from the drawer and holds it up to me. "What's this?"

"I don't know," I admit truthfully.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Parkers voice goes cold, along with his eyes.

"I haven't opened it yet."

His head shakes, and I'm launched from his lap when he stands. "Why not?"

"Because I know Ian left it with the dress," I say, my voice high and tight. "And I didn't want to see what was inside."

"Why did you keep it?" His tone is a mix between disappointment and seething rage. His hand balls the velvet box into his fist. "You should've given it to the cops when they collected evidence."

I step back. The tiniest tinge of fear spikes, but I'm so furious with being interrogated that I turn indignant. "Dammit, Parker! I didn't know it was in the room until yesterday evening, and I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want it to spoil our date." My voice hitches with my anger. "I should have said something anyway, because it doesn't seem to matter whether he worms his way into our dates, if you bring him up, or if I do." I'm shouting now. "Ian follows me even when he's locked up, because no one will ever let me put him in the past."

Parker's tone is neutral when he says, "That's because you can't until he leaves you alone. You do understand that, right?"

I throw my hands up in frustration. "I just cannot win. Can't I at least have one day where he isn't mentioned in conversation, when my brain stops comparing everything to how my life used to be with Ian? I can't get away from him because he consumed my soul for years, and even now I can't get it back without tearing it to pieces. So what do you want from me, Parker? I'm doing everything I can to keep my shit together while I fight against him. I don't need your judgment or your rage. I need someone to see me for me and not for what I've gone through."