A Change of Heart (Volume I)

Chapter 05.

Harry absent mindedly reached for Louis' hand as he yawned once more. "So you never told me what you thought of me..."

Louis blinked, lazily, and turned to look at Harry. He didn't know how to express what he thought of him, for the past nearly two decades of their families knowing each other or the past few hours they'd been married. Deciding he could easily blame it on the alcohol later, Louis leaned over, kissing Harry softly.

Harry froze for a second, but then slowly gave into the kiss. He had kissed Louis once before at the wedding, but this was different. Mostly on Louis' part. it was probably just the alcohol.

Louis didn't stop, even stepping forward, allowing Harry to lean against the far wall of the elevator, since it was just the two of them in there this time. When he pulled away, he fixed Harry's collar for him and leaned back to where he was standing.

Harry bit his lip and stared at Louis. Why did he do that? He was just wanted to kiss him again so badly. Louis lips were just so.....perfect. Stop.

Louis bit his lip as well, looking straight ahead at the door. "Sorry if that was unexpected," he apologized. "But you asked me and I couldn't find the words."

 "S-so what did that mean?" he asked, slightly confused.

 Louis thought about it for a moment. There was no reason to not just say it, really. "It means I like you...?" he said, as casually as possible, but it almost sounded self-doubtful, which kind of hurt Harry. Then Louis turned to Harry, jokingly annoyed. "You know, for a smart guy, you're really not that bright."

Harry blushed harder and look down at his feet, fiddling with his fingers.

"Why do you do that?" Louis asked, nudging Harry lightly. "Shut down and get all shy, fiddling with your hands and looking down every five seconds."

Harry didnt look up he just shrugged."This is all kind of new for me..." he mumbled.

"You mean you're 18 and you've never been married?" he asked, sarcastically. When he saw that Harry wasn't laughing, his smile faded as well. "Wait...wait. Was I..." he paused. "Harry, have you ever kissed anyone before? Before today at the chapel?" he asked, not realizing the extent to which Harry's life had changed.

Harry bit his lip and fiddled with his fingers more. Great, this was so embarrassing.

"Wow," Louis said, raising his eyebrows. "Honestly did not expect that." He knew Harry was conservative when it came to any form of intimacy, but someone that attractive couldn't be a virgin much less someone whose never kissed anyone before at eighteen. "Nothing to be ashamed of!" he quickly added, as they started walking. "I'm sorry it had to be me then."

Well, I'm not. "It's okay..." he said softly, "It's not like it's something that's really a big deal.  I mean it's hard to get kissed when you've never had a boyfriend or much less an actual friend-friend." Classmates were different, his mother was different. Louis was rapidly being so many of Harry's firsts, it was almost terrifying. Correction. It was terrifying.

Louis looked down, ashamed, because he was part of the reason for that. "I'm sorry about all the crap you've gone through...especially the stuff that was my fault and especially this marriage," he said, sadly.

"Thanks..." he mumbled, though he didn't really want any pity. He looked over at Louis "And I'm sorry for calling you all those names and stuff, I was out of line."

"I've been called worse," he said, waving away Harry's apology.

Harry opened the hotel door for Louis, following him to the elevator that was already opened. He pushed their floor number and watched the doors close. "You wanna......start over?"

Louis cocked his head back, surprised at Harry's suggestion. Maybe the honeymoon phase really is that period of time when everything seems like rainbows and butterflies and problems drift away. Sort of. Harry was making an effort as much as he was, and he had to give him that. He examined his face for any sign of ingenuity, then smiled when he couldn't find one. "Sure. I'd like that."

Harry smiled softly and the doors opened; they made their way into their room and Harry flopped down on the bed.

Louis repeated his clothes tossing from earlier, and fell down beside Harry. "Okay, now, I'm actually exhausted."

Harry chuckled, tiredly, and yawned. "Me too." He closed his eyes.

Louis watched Harry's eyes flutter shut, and couldn't stop himself the second time that night, leaning forward and kissing Harry. It was a quick peck that time, mostly just to say good night.

Harry kissed back as if a reflex. Why does this feel so natural..

 Louis smiled, his eyelids feeling heavy. He tossed the blanket over the two of them and drifted off, lying beside his husband.

Harry scooted closer and cuddled into Louis' side, wrapping his arms around Louis' waist. He almost felt him shutter, and thought maybe that was too brave of a move, and almost slid his hand off Louis's hip when he felt him grab it and place it back where it was. Harry smirked. So domineering for being the slightly more "compact" of the two.

Louis breathed in deeply, taking in Harry's scent as he scooted closer, wrapping his arm around Harry's. He ran his hand up and down his shoulder blade, like holding him was the only sense of comfort he'd ever find. 

Harry could still smell the lingering sweetness of wine, and accredited that for being the reason Louis was being so lovey-dovey. Or maybe it was the atmosphere. Louis hiccuped. Nope. Definitely wine.

Still, Harry laid his head on Louis' chest, finally drifting fully off to sleep. What the fuck am I doing? he thought before he floated away, but once again, contradicted himself. He sighed, resettling into his side of the bed after pulling himself from Louis. He was treading on dangerous ground right now.

Louis groaned, softly, annoyed at the sudden detachment. "Har-hiccup-ry."

"Go to sleep, Louis. I'll see you in the morning." 

Louis's eyes were closed, and he didn't want to open them to see how far away Harry had scooted from him out of some revived hate or whatever. Whatever happened to starting over, though? He sighed, knowing it was easier said than done to just let go of all hostile feelings for each other, even if new ones were emerging. Less hostile ones..what? No. 

Louis hiccuped again, and Harry sighed. God, everything I do annoys him! He frowned, opening his eyes and staring at Harry's back in the darkness, which was only slighted by a thin moonlight from outside their balcony window. 

Yes, Harry was only a foot or so distance from Louis. But he never felt so far away. Louis rolled over, not wanting to look at him, until he ultimately had to tomorrow morning. Who knew what bipolar mood Harry would be in tomorrow...or Louis...I'm sorry, WHAT is going on? When did falling asleep become so hard? Especially with the amount of wine consumed tonight. Oh God, fuck tomorrow.