𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐦𝐞 | ✔

ᴛᴡᴇɴᴛʏ sɪx

uhmmm so, yeah🧎‍♀️ (molly maybe like skip, yk)

Without further ideu, here is the next chapter...

༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

DEVI BHATT

I've noticed a pattern to my bad dreams. Everynight, without fail, that Ares visits, suddenly my almost repressed memories in the jar get unleashed back into my conscious memories. Then suddenly I'm going through it all over again, this time knowing the pain I'm about to cause because I can't stop it. I can't change it. His father, dead, because of us–me.

But I haven't reached that part of the story yet.

It's like everytime I see her she leaves me the key to the next part of the massacre. I remember it all, I know it's there but I just don't want to face it. I don't like feeling unhappy, feeling guilty, feeling bad, feeling sad.

I know it seems selfish. That I'd rather not address what I did so I don't live a guilt ridden depressed life. So I can be happy. I want to be happy, to live– not survive. So yes, call it selfish, but I want to just forget.

I did that once before, and it wasn't fun, but it wouldn't have happened if he didn't pester me each day or if I got help. Sometimes you need to cut people out but you can't because they're one of your constants.

Thomas was good to me though, after he realised I wasn't going back, we adjusted our relationship in a regrettable way. He loved it, he still wants it, and I regret it so awfully bad. We were young and irresponsible... and the ages didn't help him either– it should have repelled him. Almost seventeen and nineteen isn't a good mix.

But then I guess it helped me in a way, to help me become the person I am today. Confident whilst simultaneously ridiculously anxious to a point where I need xanax. Caring enough to want to become a doctor but chose the busiest and bloodiest option.

And now apparently stupid enough to join the russians. This time, something inside me is telling me I won't regret it.

And it has nothing to do with the man I'm about to spray with water. I think.

As soon as I get my ass on that machine, I twist the handle which sends me flying over the waves, splashing Grisha as he gets on his. Water pours all over him, wetting his hair causing it to flatten against his scalp. All the strands are straight flat against his forehead as he raises a hand through them to ruffle it up again.

I've been waiting to do that since forever. A wide smile is stretched across my face as I go faster and faster over the water feeling the water spray all over my face. Out of the corner of my eyes I see him crack his knuckles and mouth, game on.

Time for him to discover my competitive side.

Then I hear the sound of another engine behind me on my tail.

My heart picks up as I keep my head trained forward and my fingers tighten around the handles relaxing off the breaks.

Suddenly someone else rides past me far, far too close, I'm sure it was only a few inches shy from scraping across my leg. I look up ahead seeing Demyan's dark hair. Does he think we're playing bumper cars?

Water is showered all over me from another direction when I see who it is I see a pair of grey eyes smirking at me.

Oh hell no.

When I try to accelerate forward on my jet ski, it doesn't move and stays frozen in the middle of the ocean. I twist the handle again, assuming it's just playing up and again it doesn't move and stays stationary.