𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐦𝐞 | ✔

ғᴏᴜʀᴛʏ ғɪᴠᴇ

a matching song in honour of midnights releasing ;)

without further adieu, here is the next chapter...

༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

DEVI BHATT

I'm about to fetch a pair of heels for the restaurant when I bump into him.

Everything Sasha has told me– shaking reality into me more like, has changed everything. So despite what heated moment that happened between us just hours ago, I don't think it's even possible for me to ever go back to feeling that selfish again.

If you love him, you will do the right thing.

Nausea is washing into me like waves every minute. Sweat is gathering in my palms and my breathing is slowly becoming faster. By impulse, my first instinct would be to find my pills but they're gone. I need them right now so bad– but I know that's a bad idea. Especially with how I was guzzling them down like tic tacs before.

She's made reality crash into me, and I can feel the metal scratching against my ears like his shouts and glass piercing my heart like his words might just do.

Grisha's eyes dance with a smirk before flashing with rapid concern.

"Fuck, baby what's wrong?" He asks, searching my eyes. He takes my face into his hands, the pad of his thumb brushing over the apple of my cheek.

The lights on the ceiling glint off my gold chain hooked around his neck. It reminds me of my own one. I immediately go to hold mine, hold the priceless diamond that he gave me for some semblance of comfort right now.

I meet his eyes, easily mustering my usual mood. My usual happy mood, where I say stupid things for fun. There are flecks of silver in his grey eyes and it looks so magical. He feels magical, he makes me feel magical as I'm sitting on clouds made of his musky scent and embrace.

"I'm fine, why?" I reply with a frown.

His breath is mingling with mine as he scrutinises me. Head dipped and almost brushing noses with me. like we're back to the start where he knows that I'm hiding the obvious from him. And I know too. The white lies. the sort that doesn't inflict any harm.

His chest is crushed against mine. "I'm going to ask you again. Don't lie to me."

I almost go into cardiac arrest on the spot. And he notices, of course. He knows me so well, making every second harder.

"Did you know about Sasha?"

What a fucking shitty move. I shouldn't use her for this. I want to claw my own eyes out right now with a blunt serrated knife.

His scrutinising eyes dissolve into more softer ones.

"And why didn't you tell me about what we have to go to in two days? I'm not the only one here who's shit with communication."

"I didn't want to rush this onto you so fast, baby. You've been doing so fucking well recently when it's been just us and I didn't want to ruin it and overwhelm you."

I nod. I exhale steadily and say, "okay. I'm sorry for going ballistic at you."

"You didn't go ballistic at me," he frowns, "everything you did right now was perfectly reasonable. We're leaving as soon as you come down."

The corridor is embedded with silence but my thoughts ricochet against my skull so loudly it feels deafening. This is what it feels like to have a silence so deafening. When the world isn't shouting at you, your mind does it for you.