Pezzo Mencante

25|Surviving

If I'm still breathing, then I'm fucking fine

Alessandro and I got back to the house really late last night, so luckily everyone was either out fucking some random girl or asleep. It was quite a relief when I got home and nobody immediately attacked me with questions. I knew that if I had to say it again then I couldn't stop myself from breaking down again. Im so sick of fucking crying.

Once Alessandro opened the door, I darted up the stairs and collapsed on my bed not wanting to face anyone anymore.

He's going to be different around me now. I mean who wouldn't. He probably thinks i'm just some damaged girl whos been needed saving her entire life. The worst part is that he wouldn't even be wrong.

I have no idea what time it is as I've been lying on my bed staring at the same spot on the wall for I don't even know how long.

I should probably shower but I don't even have the energy to do that anymore; I'm completely drained. My eyes are all red and crying from last nights crying session in Ale's office and I haven't even seen the rest of my brothers yet. How the hell am I going to explain all of this to them?

Using all the energy I had, I slowly made my way down the stairs. I could hear laugher booming from the kitchen and the smell of pancakes filled the air.

Nobody noticed me at first and they were all talking to eachother, laughing even. They looked so happy. Like a proper family. Maybe they don't need me, they seem to be quite happy without me. I took another step into the room immediately grabbing everyones attention. The room fell silent as they all sent me sympathetic looks but I'm pretty sure nobody but Ale knows about how I got my bruises; he promised we'd tell them together.

Luca pulls out a chair for me beside him and as soon as I sit down Angelo puts a plate of pancakes infront of me. "Thank you." I whisper before looking down at my plate attempting to avoid eye contact with anyone.

If I look at them I'll have to tell them about everything. I'm not ready yet.

Everyone broke out into converstion again evidently trying to hide the awkward silence. As they do, my brain begins to fill with thoughts. I haven't been able to speak to Alexei since that night Ale got arrested and don't even get me started on Zayden. I know for a fact that he betrayed my trust and repoorted my scars, but why did Ale go down for it? He knows it was Ivan. A part of me wants to storm over to his house and give him a piece of my mind, but honestly I don't want to see him right now. It will just be a reminder of another man who broke my trust.

"What the fuck happened to your wrist?" Lorenzo questions as he grabs my arm in his hand and rises to his feet. I gulp. What the fuck do I say? I look up at Ale and give him a pleading look, a look to help me out of this but Lorenzo notices us staring at eachother. What he says next shocks me the most.

"Did you do that to her?" Lorenzo questions directing towards Alessandro at the top of the table. Ale's face drops. No emotion shows on his face that his glare almost scares me. None of my other brothers knew what to say, they just sat there in shock probably trying to figure out what the fuck was happening.

Lorenzo thinks Ale hurt me.

I can sense Lorenzo's anger building as his grip tightens on my arm but Ale notices me disomfort. "Let go of her arm." He seethes.

"I SAID DID YOU TOUCH OUR LITTLE SISTER!" Lorenzo yells immediately making me jump and fear for the worst. Everybody notices that. But Lorenzo raising his voice doesn't affect Ale as it does me. He just stares back; completely emotionless until he finally loses his shit.

Ale pushes his chair out and rises to his 6'6 height. "And I told you to let go of her arm!" He booms but without even a second thought, Lorenzo releases me from his grip, storms over to where Ale stands and sends a hard punch to his jaw.

Ale's head whips to the side and stays there for just a moment until something changes in his eyes. They go dark. He looks evil, pure evil. Before Enzo or any of my brothers can do anything to stop him from reacting he grabs Enzo by his throat and bangs him into the wall behind them.

Lorenzo might be strong, but Ale is stronger. I guess they don't call him a monster for nothing.

"I never have and I never will touch her. So don't you dare raise your voice at me again." Ale grunts, his hands still firmly wrapped around Enzo's neck. "H-how'd she get the bruises then." He only barely manages to mutter out. Ale's head turns towards me and by that look I know exactly what he's asking of me.

"I-Ivan." I stutter.

Nobody moves. It's either like they're trying to stay calm for my sake, or to process the information.

"And your wrist?" Luca asks from beside me and I can tell he's trying to hold back tears. "I did that myself. I guess it's easier to let the pain destroy me." I whisper but before I can even say another word, Gio flips the table as he lets out a long list of colourful vocabulary.

All 6 of my brothers began smashing things scattered around the room; violence seemed to be the way they released their anger. Tehye evidently can't put it together that loud noices or violence don't help my situation right now. Even though my heart is absolutely pounding out of chest right now, I just continue to sit in the exact place I was before and yet again I find myself staring deeply into a spot on the wall.

The eruption in the background begins to fade, not because they're getting quieter but because I'm slowly zoning out as my glare hardens on the wall.

I don't even realise that tears are pouring out of my eyes until my brothers finally calm themselves and point it out, definitely concerned. For once, I don't even know why I'm crying. I guess its just that feeling that they aren't going to treat me the same anymore, i'm not their innocent baby siter in their eyes anymore because believe me i've gone through hell and back yet somehow I survived, I always do.

My life is just such a fucking mess right now. All my lies are coming down, and they don't even know the worse of what Ivan did. My friends are probably worried as shit as I haven't been able to reach them for over 48 hours. Everything with Zayden and Alexei is so confusing, I can't keep fucking with both of their feelings. But how am I supposed to tell them anything if I don't even know myself.

My brothers will probably want to know the details about Ivan. Why he abused me. How long he abused me. How bad his beatings where. I'm so done talking about it, so before they can even think about asking I do what I do best. I ran.

I darted straight out of the front door and as fast as my legs could take me through the slightly open gates. I heard the shouts of my brothers behind me immediately waking up the sleepy guards, but it was too late. The gates had already closed behind me holding them back for a good extra 60 seconds.

I don't know where I was going or what I was going to do but all I knew was that I had to get out of there.

I turned the corner of the busy streets of New York but as I ran into something but before I could fall he caught me.

Who did she run into?

Alexei? Zayden? Someone from her past? Someome new?