Loveless

Chapter Ten

The next few days go by quickly, every day bleeding together. Wake up in Oli's arms, go to school, pretend to be fine at school, go back to Oli's house, call Evie for hours, sleep, and repeat. It's already Friday, and I haven't been home all week.

Dad says soon every single time I ask when I can come back, but soon could mean anything. He says mom doesn't seem angry anymore, and that she's been talking to people about it. I don't really know what that means; maybe she's in therapy.

I've started reading through every book on Oliver's shelf; reading his annotations and writing my own under them. I'd do anything to escape into one of these books. The characters seem so happy, and when they're not, it never lasts. Why does mine last? This feels cruel; the universe is playing games with me.

"I want to do something irrational." I say to Oliver, putting down the book I'm reading. You know when people start to develop small aspects of another person's personality because they're fond of them? I think I do that. Not consciously though, like I can't really control it.

"I don't think it's considered irrational if you spend time deciding you want to do it." He says quietly, almost mumbling. He doesn't look up from his book; I don't know how he can concentrate on reading while having a conversation.

"Let's do something!" I say rolling onto my stomach and facing him.

"Like what?" He asks, only looking at me for a moment. I like that most things didn't change when we started dating. We're still best friends, but sometimes we kiss.

"I don't know. We could get on a train and not get off until someone finally asks where we're going. Let them decide our fate." I suggest.

"That actually sounds like fun." He says, smiling lightly.

"So let's do it." I say excitedly.

"I don't know, people might worry." He says, rationally. This isn't supposed to be rational.

"You're missing the point." I say, pulling his book out of his hand. "Live a little." I say, the same way he did when we left school on the first day. He looks at me, thinking.

"And how long will we be staying at this random place?" He asks.

"Does it matter?" I say, rolling my eyes. He's thinking about it too much. "Let's just do it. What's the worst that could happen?"

"We get kidnapped and murdered. That wouldn't be ideal." He responds bluntly.

"It'd make for a great story though. I can see it now; 'Teen Lovers Get Kidnapped: Family In Shambles'! We could be a story on one of those true crime podcasts." I say laughing, and he laughs with me.

I know he's right, it would be irresponsible. Our parents would kill us; honestly I think mine would forbid me from seeing him. Plus, if my dad is right, then my mom is finally warming up to the idea of us being together. Doing this would completely shatter any chance of her forgiving me, though I haven't done anything that needs forgiveness.

"Why don't we just go to the shops or something?" He suggests, and though it isn't very irrational, it'll likely be fun.

"Okay fine, that'll work." I say, getting up. "We have to see Sage then though." I say and he rolls his eyes, but smiles.

"Yeah alright, I guess we can do that." He replies, and stands up. We both put our shoes on, and begin our trip. The walk is long, though we've never minded much.

There are brown and yellow leaves all over the ground, and the wind is gently blowing litter around. Everything looks so gray; I love it. Halloween is coming up this week, and people have set up all of their decorations around the neighborhood. I love this time of year. Oliver and I walk rather slow, taking in our surroundings, only talking every once in a while. The air smells nice, like rain mixed with the cold.