Crack Oneshots

Marinette The Explorer

EPISODA 4: Marinette the Explorer

The cult is attempting to reach the temple of gold and strippers to exorcist Rosabella for she has been possessed.

Siriyahs Grandmother: How old are you children

Flavourussy: Im 69

Siriyahs Grandmother: 69!! When I was 69 I was 420. Children these days.

Siriyahs Grandomother: Do at least have PHD?

Sandu: No, we are cult members

Marinette: Look we have reached the Temple of GOLD

Flavourussy: Look at the gold is so shiny I can see myself

Marinette: Why is Flavourussy Crying?

Flavourussy: I looked in the gold and I looked like an egg, so I cried.

Siriyahs Grandmother: Anyway now you here imma head out

Francsico: Lets go inside to get the Holy Salt™

Everyone: YEAHHHH!!!

Marinette: ok noe stfu you hoes and go in the temple, we finna make this Aladin.

Siri: Oh noes a disknee reference we r too broke for copyright

Marinette: Lets Goooo!!! Do do do do do dora

Fransico: Sh Sh Sh Sh shut up.

Marinette: Look it's the Holy Salt™ and next to it must be the strip club guardian

Holy Salt™ Guardian: Wut? Im Kaylee and 26 also I don't know how 2 fucking read

Marinette: We need the extremely Holy Salt™ to exorcist a spirit in our feet loving friend

Kaylee the Holy Salt™ Guardian: WHAT THE frick frack snic scac petty back big mac quarterback racetrack double Jack did u just say

Francisco: We need the gut dayumm Holy Salt™

Kaylee the Holy Salt™ Guardian: Ok. Here I need to go check on the strippers

The cult was handed a golden urn. The urn carved with the most delicate of curves and colours. Waves of gold carved with the gentlest of hands along with the cobalt coloring of the gemstones. Which shined bright even from the years of dust.

Sandu: So do we just throw it on Rosabella?

Marinette: I suppose so. And then we can vanquish the spirit with our Magical Cult Powers™.

Flavourussy: OK. ITS TIME TO TRANSFORM. TIKKI SPOTS ON-

Francisco: stfu u disgrace. Do not mention that clumsy Shitty Asian and her flying Chibi roach.

Flavourussy: 🙁

Marinette: Look here! There's a wide room with a convenient pentagram in the middle.

SandU: We can exorcist Rosabella here.

Siri: Imma Call Them

Siri (on the phone): Hey Rosabella Can you come over to this cool place I found some hot women who want their feet sucked.

R̻̯̪̞ͅoͪ̆ͯ͛͊́ͤ̂ͩ͜͏͟҉͇̺̟̗̬͍̲̰͓͇̤̲̟͕͉͙̦s̵̩̹̩̥̗̰̮̟̞͉͖͈̦̥͐̃͒ͪͮ̇̎̌̈͂͐ͯ̌ͮͮ͡͡ͅa̸̢̬͍͖͕̜̙̲̬̳̫̮͙̘͓̳͓̜ͫ͐̽̓̾̀̕b̵̴̸̙̩̣̞̙̞̺̖̣̺̜͇̂̐͗̀̐ͬ́̍ͨͬ̾̉̉̽͋ͭ̊͜a̵͚̖̱͖̻̝̻̝̗͈̲̳̹̰̠̥̅̇̒̍̈̑ͣ̊ͦͮ͒̀͝r̸̵̛̦̗̠̱̓͊̈̓̍ͬ͂ͭ̊̄͗͗ͮͨ̅̽ͦ̚͟͝n̨̙͚̙̥̻̼͎̰̜̖̘̥̹̻̻͓̽ͯ̓͊̉ͤͯ̉̾̓͌ͭ̈́͒ͪ̆̀̚͠͡e̷̹̠͕͓͚̘͖̰̺̠̮ͭ͑̓̏ͤ̅ͫͮͯͩ̌̕̕͜͡ͅy̧ͧ̒ͪ͋̚͏̦̪͍̮͙͕̫̺͍̳̞: Sure, send me the location

Siri: K gimme a minute, Ok its sent!

R̻̯̪̞ͅoͪ̆ͯ͛͊́ͤ̂ͩ͜͏͟҉͇̺̟̗̬͍̲̰͓͇̤̲̟͕͉͙̦s̵̩̹̩̥̗̰̮̟̞͉͖͈̦̥͐̃͒ͪͮ̇̎̌̈͂͐ͯ̌ͮͮ͡͡ͅa̸̢̬͍͖͕̜̙̲̬̳̫̮͙̘͓̳͓̜ͫ͐̽̓̾̀̕b̵̴̸̙̩̣̞̙̞̺̖̣̺̜͇̂̐͗̀̐ͬ́̍ͨͬ̾̉̉̽͋ͭ̊͜a̵͚̖̱͖̻̝̻̝̗͈̲̳̹̰̠̥̅̇̒̍̈̑ͣ̊ͦͮ͒̀͝r̸̵̛̦̗̠̱̓͊̈̓̍ͬ͂ͭ̊̄͗͗ͮͨ̅̽ͦ̚͟͝n̨̙͚̙̥̻̼͎̰̜̖̘̥̹̻̻͓̽ͯ̓͊̉ͤͯ̉̾̓͌ͭ̈́͒ͪ̆̀̚͠͡e̷̹̠͕͓͚̘͖̰̺̠̮ͭ͑̓̏ͤ̅ͫͮͯͩ̌̕̕͜͡ͅy̧ͧ̒ͪ͋̚͏̦̪͍̮͙͕̫̺͍̳̞: I AM GOING TO SUCK THOSE HOTTIES TOES TILL THEY HAVE THE MASS BLOOD LOSS, ALSO BYE BITCH.

Mere seconds after the call Rosabella burst teleported to the room with Nightcrawler powers.

R̻̯̪̞ͅoͪ̆ͯ͛͊́ͤ̂ͩ͜͏͟҉͇̺̟̗̬͍̲̰͓͇̤̲̟͕͉͙̦s̵̩̹̩̥̗̰̮̟̞͉͖͈̦̥͐̃͒ͪͮ̇̎̌̈͂͐ͯ̌ͮͮ͡͡ͅa̸̢̬͍͖͕̜̙̲̬̳̫̮͙̘͓̳͓̜ͫ͐̽̓̾̀̕b̵̴̸̙̩̣̞̙̞̺̖̣̺̜͇̂̐͗̀̐ͬ́̍ͨͬ̾̉̉̽͋ͭ̊͜a̵͚̖̱͖̻̝̻̝̗͈̲̳̹̰̠̥̅̇̒̍̈̑ͣ̊ͦͮ͒̀͝r̸̵̛̦̗̠̱̓͊̈̓̍ͬ͂ͭ̊̄͗͗ͮͨ̅̽ͦ̚͟͝n̨̙͚̙̥̻̼͎̰̜̖̘̥̹̻̻͓̽ͯ̓͊̉ͤͯ̉̾̓͌ͭ̈́͒ͪ̆̀̚͠͡e̷̹̠͕͓͚̘͖̰̺̠̮ͭ͑̓̏ͤ̅ͫͮͯͩ̌̕̕͜͡ͅy̧ͧ̒ͪ͋̚͏̦̪͍̮͙͕̫̺͍̳̞: IM HERE FOR THE SMEXY WAMEN!1!1!1

Marinette: No! Conduct the exorcism

SandU: *THROWS THE HOLY SALT™*

R̻̯̪̞ͅoͪ̆ͯ͛͊́ͤ̂ͩ͜͏͟҉͇̺̟̗̬͍̲̰͓͇̤̲̟͕͉͙̦s̵̩̹̩̥̗̰̮̟̞͉͖͈̦̥͐̃͒ͪͮ̇̎̌̈͂͐ͯ̌ͮͮ͡͡ͅa̸̢̬͍͖͕̜̙̲̬̳̫̮͙̘͓̳͓̜ͫ͐̽̓̾̀̕b̵̴̸̙̩̣̞̙̞̺̖̣̺̜͇̂̐͗̀̐ͬ́̍ͨͬ̾̉̉̽͋ͭ̊͜a̵͚̖̱͖̻̝̻̝̗͈̲̳̹̰̠̥̅̇̒̍̈̑ͣ̊ͦͮ͒̀͝r̸̵̛̦̗̠̱̓͊̈̓̍ͬ͂ͭ̊̄͗͗ͮͨ̅̽ͦ̚͟͝n̨̙͚̙̥̻̼͎̰̜̖̘̥̹̻̻͓̽ͯ̓͊̉ͤͯ̉̾̓͌ͭ̈́͒ͪ̆̀̚͠͡e̷̹̠͕͓͚̘͖̰̺̠̮ͭ͑̓̏ͤ̅ͫͮͯͩ̌̕̕͜͡ͅy̧ͧ̒ͪ͋̚͏̦̪͍̮͙͕̫̺͍̳̞: nO!

As the Holy Salt™ was thrown upon the Drunk, High, and Possessed Rosabella. She fell to her knees and a great big purple spirit floated out of her. It was BARNEY

*DUN DUN DUN*

Flavourussy: Barney!!!111! How the fuck did you possess the Asian roach

Barney: When you lot summoned me to cremate the 3ft emo furry

Nanana: Hey im 3ft 2 😥

Francisco: Ur short and as of that Ur opinion is invalid

Barney: STFU im talking!!1!!11, So cuz of you failed miscarriages i missed hhalf of my godsdammned pride parade. And for revenge I possessed Rosabella, but only after the whole ✨SiSSy rAT✨ ordeal.

The cult decided they needed to be rid of the purple dinosaur who is from our imagination.

Marinette: It is time to be rid of you, you disgraceful abomination.

Flavourussy: Ok Wild Kratts lets goooo

Francisco: stfu😤

FRACISCO sPlit PerSoNALiTy: mEORW

Nananana: Do I smeellll anothherr furry???

Sandu: *throws more Holy Salt™

Barney: NOOOOOO

Barney has been exposed to exorcism. And Rosabella's unconscious body started having a seizure. As Rosabella woke, she started speaking

Rosabella: SMUT

Rosabella: Also where are the smexy wamen??

Marinette: no.

Marinette: Lets go now! Do do do do do Dora

Barney: Can y'all just stfu and get this over with im gonna miss im Rated NC-17 movies. Which is very much worse than then R. Trust me.

Marinette: Oh right. Anyways. SURRENDER NOW BEFORE YOU DIE YOU HORNY PURPLE DINO

Barney: NO BITCH.

Rosabella: *suddenly recovers* OH MAH GAWD. YO ARSE FINNA DIE NOW. HOW COULD U CURSE AT HER.

TeleHub's Sun: The rest of the mooners look at Marinette and

t r e m b l e. They hastily pack up their things and leave the Holy Salt™ for the next soul awaiting it for an exorcism. They were in terrible danger as long as they were in the temple.