Sanemi Shinazugawa, the man who scorched demons alive. The one who'd cut his own skin, to bleed and gain the upper hand against the enemy.
Sure, he was one of the best, but you hated him...
At least, you thought you did.
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#1 in #shinaz...
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Days passed as I continued to think about what Tengen had told me. I kept myself pretty busy, trying to avoid the Wind Estate, and the boy that lived inside, that my heart so desperately wanted to visit. I generally wouldn't see Shinazugawa unless we purposely met up, so the longing for him grew with each night that went by.
I grew lonely as I patrolled nearby villages in the night, with nobody to keep me company but the moon. I realized how starved I was of human love, and it was all the work of my brain, simply trying to keep my heart safe.
But I didn't care anymore. My former teacher was right. Tomorrow for us Hashira is a gift that's never promised. It wasn't fair to Sanemi that I was keeping my feelings hidden from him. Even if they weren't reciprocated, at least he would know that someone cared for him.
Yet, my thoughts were much braver than my actions. I knew that if I were to even attempt to tell him the truth, it wouldn't be pretty.
These were the thoughts that kept me up, as the sun tried to shine through my blinds. I had patrolled for three nights in a row, and my exhaustion had caught up to me. I needed to sleep, regardless of the time of day. I tried to prolong it, so that I could sleep closer to nighttime, since I wouldn't have to be out tonight, but alas, I had grown used to living in the dark.
After a good days sleep, I finally woke up as the sun was setting. My stomach turned at the thought of seeing Sanemi at our restaurant the next day, since it was our weekly tradition. I had yet to hear from his crow that he wouldn't be able to make it, so I was nervous and excited all the same.
So I went about the early evening doing things that I had procrastinated doing to keep my mind busy. But as hours passed and all those things were done, I sat at the edge of my futon, worrying about nothing but divulging my feelings to Sanemi.
I laid back in frustration, knowing that I'd more than likely be met with rejection. I wanted him to know how I felt, but I wasn't ready for the heart break that would possible follow. My thoughts went dark, as once again my brain reminded me of all the reasons why I used to hate Sanemi, as a way to talk me out of my ambitions.
It didn't matter though, cause the girl that hated the Wind Pillar was gone, and now a girl who was falling head over heels for him replaced her. Those hateful memories were now distant, and only daydreams of Sanemi over me in every which way possible remained.
I just wanted to feel his touch on me, I wanted to know what it was like to love him, and what it felt like to be loved by him. I craved his lips on me, his hands on my waist, his heartbeat so close to mine.
My body grew hot as I tried to recover from my lustful desires, and come back down to earth. I got up from my futon and paced around my room, trying to come up with something to do to keep my mind more occupied. I looked outside, the moon now high in the sky. Most of the Pillars were probably gone or asleep, and not a soul stirred out in the garden.
