Not yet - Danisnotonfire fanfiction

Chapter 10

I got back after an hour I left the apartment. I called my boss (who as I told also had a hangover), then dropped my bag on the counter, went back to the bedroom, switched my clothes in the dark and went back to my bed.

"Hey" Jack said silently.

"JESUS you scared me." I exclaimed.

"Do you know what happened?"

"You overdrank, got in hospital, Louise called me in the middle of the night, but you survived and that's all what matters"

"Wait, Louise called you?"

"Yes, otherwise how would I..."

"Charlotte told me you were in last night but I didn't know"

"Yes I was" I answered shortly.

"Was I even awake? I don't remember anything."

"Yes" there was a perfect amount of silence after my answer, and I thought he fell asleep.

"Was I speaking, or anything?"

"Yes"

"Why are you giving so short answers? Are you mad, did I do something?"

"Jack, sleep, you need sleep."

"No" I heard him get up. By that time, I found the right word for that feeling: petrified. "What did I do?"

"It's not a big deal Jack, get over it"

"I want to know"

"Really?" I asked with a sceptic tone.

"Yes" his hand suddenly touched my duvet, and I twitched. The memory of his hand slipping under my shirt was too fresh. He sat down.

"Okay, you need to know something before I tell you: I don't like when people are drunk. I'm always scared that I'll be abused, or beaten up. My dad and grandfather were both alcoholics, and I'm terrified about being near to really drunk men."

"Get to the point" he said with his usual 'I'm-sick-of-your-shit' tone.

"So you woke up when I got to your room and was all happy and touchy and shit and when I finally gathered all my strength just to be next to a drunk person, you kind of slipped your hand under my shirt, I mean I don't know what happened when I was a kid, who abused me in what ways or why, but..."

"Oh. I'm sorry about that. Absolutely didn't mean to do that. Sorry. Is that all?"

"Yes"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I am."

"Why was Louise here?"

"She took care of Hannah when I wanted to go and check you, to make sure that you're alive. Also sorry about sleeping in your bed, Louise fell asleep on mine."

"No problem."

"You have the typical Jack Howard face on have you?"

"Maybe"

"Now go to sleep you knob"

"Oi, be nice, I almost died"

"FYI, when I say offensive words, deep down in my black soul that actually means that I care"

"I know, I know. And really? Prince Charming? Like, come on, I could do better than that."

"Fucking hell, your hearing is really a 10/10"

"You could've just said sleeping beauty or some shit like that."

"You idiot"

"I know you love me, where are you, let me give you a hug"

"How do you have so much energy, go to bed jesus christ."

When we were hugging, I felt his breath on my neck, which made me twitch.

"What?"

"Sorry, my neck is ticklish, and now you know my weakest point great okay good."

"Oh. I'm not sorry about that" he said and laughed.

"Now get out of my bed and get some sleep, or at least let me sleep, 'cause I'm really bloody tired here."

"Okay." I fell back asleep, had sort of an erotic dream, so I woke up like I do at nightmares: really fast breaths and sitting up immediately. "Morning, moaner"

"Oh no"

"Can I just ask what happened, I mean not that I care, I'm just interested, 'cause it sounded like an interesting thing"

"Oh shut up" I threw my pillow at him.

"But seriously"

"My brain just took it's A levels in dreaming stupid things about close friends and got an A"

"You moaned a lot" he laughed.

"Better than speaking or yelling though." I sat up, and got my sweatpants on. Visited the kitchen, grabbed my phone I left there when I arrived, and dialled my grandmother.

"Yes?" she answered in our mother tongue.

"Hey it's me"

"Oh hey, thank god you're okay, I wanted to call you, but you know it costs a lot to call and..."

"Yes yes, I get it" I said, sitting down on the couch. "Are you sure she's dead?"

"She's been cremated."

"When?" I sighed.

"Before I called you. Listen, where are you, I want to visit you."

"In London"

"I got to go, talk to you later" she hung up.

"Oh shit"

"What?" I heard Jack asking from behind me.

"Jesus" I jumped. "Let's wait for it. I'd bet my ass that someone will call me in approximately 5 minutes." he shrugged his shoulders, and in that second when I looked outside my phone started to ring.

"Hello darling how are you doing?" it was my dad with the crappiest accent that ever existed on the planet. "I heard about your mother and I'm really sorry"

"Do you know if grandma wants to come here?" I asked shortly in native.

"I think she wants to give you some of her ashes."

"Why, why the fuck would anyone bring me ashes I don't want ashes for fuck's sake, I don't care if it's mum's but I don't want that."

"She probably thought it would be nice"

"What? Would it be nice that every time I look at it I think, 'death is inevitable oh hey here's my mother' and then I get the lid off and yell 'HEY MOTHER HOW ARE YOU DOING IN THERE ARE YOU GOOD OKAY SEE YOU LATER BYE' into the pot and putting the lid back on."

"You have a point" my phone buzzed.

"Grandma's calling I'll speak to you later?"

"Sure, call me and I'll call you back."