Not yet - Danisnotonfire fanfiction

Chapter 7

I nearly screamed OH MY GOD but I had to stay silent.

I went out to check Hannah, and then I stayed up. I knew I'll need a lot of coffee when I get up. Eventually I fell asleep in the kitchen, my head on the counter my ass on a chair.

I forgot I left my phone in there so when the alarm started ringing at around seven, Jack came out of the room and threw the phone at me, and I turned it off. I dropped off Hannah at the kindergarten, and headed to the address Phil sent me.

I walked around and started scrolling on my phone when suddenly:

"Heeeey"

"Oh hey guys, why you two up so early?" I hugged them. 

"I'm tired" Dan started whining.

"You'll sleep on the plane" Phil said "We're going to Japan"

"Aw that's great" I said but my feelings did not match with what I said. 

When I remembered what Phil texted me I got all emotional. I wished them a nice trip, hugged both of them tightly and when Dan looked at his phone I smiled at Phil and nodded as a permission for him to propose. 

I quickly left when they said goodbye, turned right at the next street and started crying for absolutely no reason. Millions of feels flooded my brain and the alarm in me went off, to warn me: work. But I had one more hour to fuck around.

I didn't eat any breakfast, but I was also sick to my stomach because of my feelings, which only meant I'm not gonna eat anything for a day.

When I got back from work I had to go for Hannah, it turned out that 'the guy who came previously' took her home. I panicked so I called Jack.

"Did you take Hannah?"

"No I didn't"

"What???"

"I'm just kidding, yes I did"

"Oh my god I'm so relieved, but I hate you so much right now."

"I know" he laughed.

I went home. Jack went to the living room to make a video and I sat on my bed, holding on to my phone. I started feeling really shit, so I took a look at twitter, and my eyes started watering, when Jack came back.

"I am finished I'm gonna edit and... Wow what is up with the long face, it is longer than your street lamp post-sticklegs."

"Nothing"

"Oh come on, don't lie to me, you're nearly crying."

"No I'm not" and this was the moment when even though there were tears, I was still in denial. I went to make some dinner for all of us.

"You made dinner?" Jack asked with pure amazement on his face. This wasn't the first time. He does this every day when I make dinner.

"Yes"

"I'm glad I live with you, you can make food." I didn't laugh, I wasn't in the mood. Hannah was already in the kitchen, at the table.

"Mommy?"

"Yes dear"

"Why are you sad?"

"I'm not sad"

"No no, mommy is indeed sad, she just hates to admit that she's got feelings too. By the way, feelings are completely fine" he said, and I heard Hannah laughing at Jack. I left them with the food, and went back to the room. In about 15 minutes, he came in, kissed the top of my head and said. "God bless your cooking skills, Hannah is watching Disney, why didn't you stay and ate?"

"I'm not hungry"

"Did you even eat today?"

"I probably didn't but I'm not hungry" in this moment I swear I've seen the lightbulb above his head. 

"I know" he ran out of the room and came back with my favorite cookies.

"I told you I'm not hungry"

"Listen... What is up? Are you gonna be on your period? Because if so, tell me so I can be a bit nicer. Wait, that's probably not gonna happen, cause I'm an asshole"

"Shush, don't swear" 

"Whoops sorry"

"And fyi, no I'm not going to be on my period"

"Oh, okay. Well, uh listen I'm heading down to the pub with the guys, if it is okay"

"Sure, I'll go down to get the mail" While he was still in the apartment, I went to check the mailbox, there were a bunch of stuff, including a letter from my grandmother.

I opened it, while going back and started reading.

Honey,

I haven't heard anything about you in such a long time, I hope you're doing great. Your father's company is doing really well.. 

I nearly fell on my face, I was so concentrated.

I went back and Jack was nearly ready when he noticed my really concentrated reading face, so he stood next to me and started reading. But the letter was in my native tongue.

"What is this language?"

"Have I not told you?"

"What?"

"I'm not english actually" 

"Really?" he was fascinated by the fact that I just came here to be here and that I have the ability to speak english.

"Yes"

"Then Hannah is..." he guessed, I helped him.

"Half english half hungarian, I'm gonna start help her learning the language."

"Wait, how do you know that the dad is english?"

"I'm just guessing, I would be happy, you know" I lied and kept on reading the letter.

...but I'm afraid I have some bad news for you. Call me if you can. 

Love, grandma.

I immediately dialed the number.

"Yes?"

"Grandma?"

"Dear, dear oh my dear how are you?"

"Cut the chit-chat what happened? We can chit-chat after that" Jack was still in the room, he was glancing at me with a terrified look on his face. I still had the ability to speak my own native language, but I kind of felt like I'm forgetting stuff.

"Your mother passed away."