ZoSan: The Flower

Chapter 30 - Sanji

A/N: Aww, I'm so glad I have people enjoying my story! Y'all give me inspiration and motivation and I love it. Thanks to my new voter/commenter, shichiemie! This one's for you!

"Eh? Surgery? But isn't he better now?"

Sanji didn't mean to listen to Chopper's conversation with Luffy. They just happened to be close to where he was sitting for a smoke break. And loud. And they seemed to not have noticed Sanji.

"Enough so we can try the surgery, but not all the way yet." Chopper explained. "I tried to advise against it, since he may still be able to beat it without surgery, but Zoro's insisting. Torao said he would assist if we can be at the next island within three days and stay until he gets there."

"Aw, I wanted to talk to Torao~," Luffy whined. "But we can do three days, if it helps Zoro."

Sanji left the top deck then and went to his kitchen, fury burning in his eyes and the fire of betrayal racing down his spine. He made a triple batch of cookies, then a batch of chocolate croissants, but stress baking wasn't enough to soothe his anger. Nearly two hours after hearing Luffy and Chopper's conversation, he found himself heading up to the crow's nest where he knew Zoro had been since before lunch, his last cigarette in his mouth.

He slammed open the door hard enough that the room shook, surprising the mosshead.

"Oh, Sanji? Don't be so rough on the door." Zoro set down his weights, eyes on Sanji.

And Sanji did something he never thought he'd do.

He curled his hand into a fist and slammed it into Zoro's bare chest as hard as he could. The man didn't even flinch, which just fueled Sanji's anger more.

"DID YOU EVER BELIEVE I HAD A CHANCE TO FIX IT?" He yelled, pulling an already sore fist back for another punch. "I WAS TRYING MY HARDEST, YOU PIG-HEADED, STUPID -"

Zoro caught the fist before Sanji could hit him again and gently pulled the blond towards him. In a single motion he forced the hand he held to unclench and interlocked their fingers, while Zoro's other hand went around Sanji's waist, holding him close so it almost seemed like they were about to dance, except that Sanji's other arm was now pinned to his own waist. "Calm down so we can talk?"

The request was low and gentle and so close to Sanji's ear. But Sanji wasn't inclined to listen.

"Let me go, you selfish asshole!" Sanji was struggling against the hold, but Zoro had him beat in arm strength. Even so, those arms were gentle. Just firm enough not to let Sanji move much, to not let him pull away, but not so tight as to risk injury.

"No. Not until you hear me out, Sanji." Still that soft voice that Sanji didn't want to hear. That too-damn-gentle use of his damn name only infuriated him more. Why didn't Zoro have the decency to get mad, to fight him properly?!

"I've heard enough! You're having surgery to remove the flower!" Sanji practically spat the words. "So you're done giving me a chance to save you, right?! What, decided you wanted to be done with me, wanted to move on? Or just doubt that I could do it?!" It was one thing for Sanji to wonder if he could save Zoro, but another thing entirely for Zoro to doubt that he could. Doubt him enough to submit to surgery. To being cut open and dug into by Law, who Zoro didn't quite trust. And if Zoro was submitting to surgery under a doctor he didn't trust, what did that say about Zoro's trust in Sanji?

"Not at all." That gentle resolution in Zoro's voice was beginning to make Sanji's knees weaken. "It wasn't about removing the chance or doubting you. It's ... it's to give you a choice."

Sanji stopped fighting entirely at that, shock and confusion on his face. Zoro released his hand to move from gentle restraint to a full hug, pulling Sanji against that muscled chest and leaning his own chin on Sanji's shoulder. Which put his mouth right under Sanji's ear AND made it so Sanji couldn't see his face as he spoke again.

"I still want you, Sanji. You and only you. But I don't want you to love me out of some... twisted obligation to save me." Zoro's voice was shaky now, and Sanji wondered if the other was crying. That was ridiculous, though; Zoro didn't cry. Sanji let his arms wrap gingerly around the other's back, letting him know he was listening.

"I don't want pressure or some unforeseen time constraint. The flower got us this far, and for that, strange as it may seem, I'm grateful. But if we take any of this any further, I want, ...no, I NEED, that option to come from your heart. I want the freedom to do this right. I want you to be free to reject me, if that's what you choose, without fear that doing so will kill a friend. And for that I need to at least try the surgery."

Sanji felt the anger that had been in his chest melt away, and let himself feel all the emotions under it that now fought to get out. He felt a sob force itself out of his throat, and one of the hands on his back began rubbing small comforting circles. A few more sobs escaped into an otherwise quiet room for a few minutes. This had been the answers he'd been searching for, and somehow, Zoro had figured it out without Sanji even being able to put it into words properly. Had taken the option that would give Sanji exactly what he needed: time without pressure.

Finally, Zoro spoke again, still not lifting his chin from Sanji's shoulder. "This isn't a reflection of you or my feelings for you or anything else that mind of yours may have come up with. This is me, making sure that you have a choice. Do you understand now?"

Sanji nodded against Zoro's shoulder. "Why didn't you tell me before you decided? At least that it was on the table?" He got out, voice still shaky.

"Heh. Surgery. On the table." Zoro huffed a laugh at Sanji's unintentional pun, then sighed into Sanji's shoulder. "Because I am, as you accused, a selfish asshole."

Sanji tried to pull back, to look the other in the face, but Zoro held him tightly. "I didn't really mean -"

"Maybe. But you weren't wrong. To be honest, Chopper asked me to consider the surgery right when you brought me back, if it continued shrinking. And I didn't want to, partly because Chopper wants Law's help, but partly because ... part of me wanted you to love me for whatever reason I could get. But that wasn't ... right, or fair to you. It wouldn't have been a good way for me to love you."

"That doesn't make you a selfish asshole, it just means you're ... in love. I shouldn't have called you that...."

"Love can make saints and assholes of anyone it touches. And choosing to continue a path that could've hurt you would've definitely made me an asshole."

"Not if you chose the right thing in the end, Zoro. Now will you look at me?"

Zoro pulled back, slowly, just enough to see Sanji's face. Sanji took in the face in front of him: that long scar over his eye, the straight nose and firm lips, that square jaw. He didn't even realize that his hands had left Zoro's back until he felt Zoro's heartbeat against one palm and the faintest hint of stubble against the other.

Sanji leaned in to kiss the swordsman, nearly as chaste as the kiss on the boat had been, but with just a little more pressure. When he pulled back, Zoro's eyes had dilated and his face was flushed.

"What was that for?"

Sanji just grinned and leaned in again. This time it seemed Zoro was prepared for it, because he pulled the cook flush against him again and deepened the kiss, letting tongues slide together for a minute. When they parted for air, Sanji answered, "Because I wanted to."

Zoro smiled, and it nearly blinded the cook with how genuinely happy it looked. "Does this mean I'm forgiven?"

"It at least means I still owe you today's hour... and some from yesterday," Sanji said coyly, his finger tracing invisible designs over the swordsman's heart. "Any ideas on how you wanna spend it?"

Zoro blanched suddenly and stepped back from Sanji so quickly that the blond nearly fell over. "I can't. I want to, I do, but... not yet."

Sanji went red as he realized how Zoro had interpreted his teasing. "Uh. I, um, didn't mean...! Not like that! That... came out wrong.... Uh, sorry." Sanji stepped back another step or two, retreating towards the door, until Zoro grabbed his hand gently.