ZoSan: The Flower

Chapter 46 - Sanji

Sanji regretted his harsh words as soon as he realized that the drops that hit the floor in front of him were tears. He had expected Zoro to handle his outburst of insecurity with his recent aplomb, telling him exactly what he needed to hear. Or at least to argue back, to fight him like he used to, current weakness be damned.

He hadn't expected silence and tears. He never could've expected tears from the swordsman. He knew, now, that Zoro wasn't as stoic as he had sometimes seemed, but Zoro didn't cry. Sanji had seen everyone else in the crew cry at least once, but never Zoro.

Why hadn't he just answered honestly? Told Zoro that he'd never in his life been so attracted to someone, man or woman? That he couldn't imagine loving anyone but Zoro, maybe not ever again and that that scared him? And on top of that, his heart was still smarting from Zoro's rejection of the word 'boyfriend'. He'd lashed out in pain and fear.

He hadn't moved from his knees. "Do I ... believe the things I just said to him?" He asked himself quietly. How else had such cruel, hurtful words come out? But of course he didn't believe it! Of course he didn't mean it. Zoro had given up the things he valued most to help Sanji - his strength and his pride. Even if it was only temporary, he'd chosen to have an invasive surgery that would weaken him for at least two weeks... so that Sanji could have a choice. And Zoro had even been trying to be more open, at least around Sanji, and Sanji knew that his swordsman had been struggling with that.

Zoro'd probably given up more than Sanji had, honestly.

And Sanji didn't want to be "done". Even if Zoro didn't trust him to not pursue others, to be open and honest and committed... Sanji wanted to prove himself to the other man. Wanted to remind him that whether or not Sanji ever again experienced attraction to anyone else, Sanji would be a loyal, committed partner and wouldn't cheat. Wouldn't give up. Didn't want to walk away. Though really, if Zoro was his partner, why would he want to? Zoro was everything he wanted, and more than he deserved.

And Sanji may have just destroyed his heart.

Sanji needed to get up off this floor, go after the other. Apologize. Otherwise he'd lose not only the man that he was too cowardly to admit he loved, but his best friend, too, in one blow. But his legs wouldn't move, except to shake beneath him.

What had he done?

And more importantly, how could he fix it now?

A/N: Because it's short and the last chapter was horribly mean, you're getting a double update today, so get ready to keep reading!