ZoSan: The Flower

Chapter 9 - Sanji

If he's still talking about dying, then I guess it didn't work, Sanji thought, barely able to function from the way his heart was racing. But with his hand still on the other's chest, he could feel Zoro's heart keeping pace with his own easily, even without haki. He'd... liked the feel of the other's lips, chapped and dry, but gentle. Kinda wanted to kiss them again.

He needed normalcy. This was too strange, stranger than anything he'd seen anywhere in the Grand Line, and it was gonna kill him.

He pulled his hand from the other's chest, but didn't move further away. "I'm not going back yet. If you're gonna die before me like a moron, I'm at least gonna be there to see it, shitty swordsman."

Sanji meant it as a joking insult, the kind that was meant to have the other yelling about how he wasn't gonna be so stupid as to die first, or maybe in this case, how he'd left for a reason. The kind that would've started a fight at any other point in their history. But his voice had been too gentle in his delivery and after the longest 18 seconds of his life, the other implication clicked into place like a damn land mine.

Apparently it did for Zoro, too, because he started laughing. It was that big belly laugh that came out when Zoro was finally a little tipsy and one of their infamous parties was going on, and damn if that laugh didn't warm Sanji to the core like it never had before. And it went on long enough that Sanji knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that his entire face was tomato red.

When Zoro finally started to catch his breath, the laughter turned into a smirk and he wrapped his arms loosely around the other man's waist. "Don'tcha think you should at least let me take you to dinner before you suggest a lifelong commitment?"

Sanji was pretty sure his face was inventing whole new shades of red at this point, and he was beginning to wonder if Momoiro Island had done something to his pride and masculinity after all, but he didn't pull out of the other's arms. "Shut up, stupid mosshead. You know I didn't mean it like that."

"Oh? Then how did you mean it?" Zoro's voice was stronger, almost teasing as he raised an eyebrow.

Sanji had to look away from the intensity in the other's gray eyes. Was the bastard actually flirting with him right now?! But he wasn't coughing, hadn't coughed in a while now, even after laughing like that. As if the kiss had completely eradicated the flower in his chest. And Sanji found that he couldn't answer the seemingly simple question for a long minute, much less contemplate the other question behind it. Or what Zoro's easy breathing might truly mean.

Not yet.

He finally pulled away from those arms, instantly missing their warmth against the cool night air. "Obviously, I meant so I could turn your body in and collect on your bounty, dumbass. A bounty like yours would feed even Luffy's appetite for a few months." Why hadn't that been the first 'insult' to come out? That would've caused less embarrassment.

Zoro laughed again, scooting away to give the blond space again, but didn't say anything. Just watched Sanji with those mesmerizing dark eyes that made him just a little nervous.

Sanji had hoped a fight would break the silence, but when Zoro didn't rise to the bait, he had to switch tactics."So, um. Feeling any better? Did it help?" He didn't notice the way Zoro's lingering smirk faltered for a second.

"Much," Zoro answered, not taking his eyes from the other's face.

"Enough to come back to the Sunny?" Back to me? Sanji's mind whispered traitorously. He resisted the urge to slap himself for the thought.

Zoro's smile dropped completely at that. "That depends. Do you think there's a chance...?" The unspoken part of the sentence hung between them. A chance that Sanji would fall in love with a guy? With Zoro, of all people? A chance that Sanji could actually save him?

Sanji rocked back on his heels, trying to find his answer. He could admit that the swordsman was attractive and important to him. He could admit that he respected him in a way he'd never really respected a woman. He could even admit — at least to himself — that the kiss had been nice and that he'd liked the feeling of the other's arms around him. But he also knew that it'd been a while since he'd had anyone ... special. He'd had the occasional fling with locals as they'd traveled, but the last relationship he'd had was back at the Baratie. He'd been too busy adventuring and caring for his crew to look for anything too serious. There was the chance he was just lonelier than he'd thought.

To further complicate it, they were crewmates. Sanji'd heard enough stories back at the Baratie about how often love among crewmates could turn bad. With tempers like theirs, skills like theirs, could the Sunny withstand it if a relationship between them fell apart? Could the crew?

And how much time would the flower in Zoro's chest give him? A day? A year? What if it never worked? Luffy would be devastated if Zoro came back only to die later, and no matter how forgiving and easy-going the captain was, he would certainly hold the cook accountable. Something like that would probably be the end of Sanji's time with the crew, if not his life. His fingers tightened on the forgotten cigarette, and he pulled it to his lips, sucking the nicotine into his system like a drowning man might suck in air. He let out several small smoke rings in a row to try to soothe his unease.

"I, I don't want to pressure you, curly-brows. But I still feel the flower, here," The swordsman spoke again, his voice soft and serious as he touched his own chest, right below his heart. "Which means I'm a time-bomb. I... I can't get our nakamas' hopes up falsely, and I wouldn't be able to leave so simply again. They know now. If I come back better, or come back and then get better, they'll suspect why. There would be no hiding it, no being discreet while you — while we figure things out. If you think a... relationship like that between us is impossible, I understand and I can handle it. But I need to know now."

Sanji understood the words Zoro wasn't saying. If it was impossible, Sanji should leave, now, alone. Leave Zoro to die, here on the ocean. Rejected. The thought made Sanji's heart ache. He couldn't imagine what it took for Zoro to get those words out. But he wasn't done.

"But if you think it's possible, then I'll come back with you. If I have your permission to try, I'll do my best to, to win you over. I'll fight for us, romance you, go at your pace. Whatever you need, however long it takes. But if not, it's okay. You've done enough just by coming after me. You don't owe me anything, much less this if it makes you uncomfortable."

Sanji's throat closed up, choking off his words. You're wrong, he wanted to say, I owe you more fights, more lessons, more bruises. I owe you some booze. I owe you my very life probably ten times over.

And there was his answer. He would try. There were limited outcomes, three at Sanji's best guess. It might buy Chopper time to find another remedy. It might actually work and Sanji would fall in love with the swordsman. Or the other would fall out of love with him by being close enough to see the darkness and insecurities Sanji hid. Any way should destroy the flower inside Zoro. Death by flower was not going to be an option, not if Sanji had anything to say about it.

"No guarantees, stupid mosshead," Sanji finally answered, grabbing his hand. He placed it over his heart, which was still beating too fast, letting the other feel its pace. "But we're pirates. Anything's possible, right?" The last words were almost a whisper — barely loud enough for the other to hear — as he placed his forehead against the other's shoulder, afraid to look at his face, especially while the swordsman's calloused hand was over his heart.

Zoro placed his free hand gently on Sanji's neck, almost as if to comfort him. "Then yeah. Let's go home," he answered, almost as softly as Sanji had.

With his face against the taller man's shoulder, Sanji didn't see the delight, the hope, that rested on the other's face. But the hand against his chest didn't move for a long minute, and he couldn't miss the feather-soft kiss that was dropped on his temple. And somehow, he didn't want to pull away from any of it.