Chenford: Song Fics

Secret Love

#104daysofsummervacation
#104daysofchenford
#Day27

Song: Secret Love, by Hunter Hayes.

We get so close but we never touch,
Gotta wear this mask for just long enough
To get away from all the eyes that stare us down.
Like two criminals with the dream to steal,
Not a trace to be found of the way we feel.
With our hearts on line, we give in and we get away.

It felt as though everyone could see right through them. They did work in a station full of curious cops, so it wasn't an unlikely supposition. Either way, it was difficult for both of them. They had to be careful not to touch each other too familiarly. They couldn't talk in an overly intimate fashion. They couldn't have a date night at any sort of bar or restaurant within an hour radius of the district. Even when they did take out, there was always the risk that she would be seen in his passenger seat. 

It was ironic, the guilt that associated with them as they fudged around the truth with their coworkers when asked what they did over the weekend. They felt like criminals. And in a station full of cops...well it was like being a pair of criminals surrounded by cops. 

Maintaining normalcy wasn't an easy chore.
They couldn't spend too much time together.
People would suspect something was up.
They couldn't spend too much time apart.
People would suspect something was wrong.

When you're living a life that you gotta deny,
When you feel how we feel, but you gotta keep lying,
It's only gonna mess you up inside.
When you walk by each other in a crowded room,
And nobody sees how I'm looking at you,
But we'll meet in a minute at the rendezvous.
Only you know what I mean.

It came between them sometimes, the need for secrecy.
They'd discuss it.
They'd debate it.
They'd argue over it.
She'd cry over it.
He'd comfort her over it.

Lying was something neither of them had been comfortable with on a general principle. She had a hard time holding Angela's gaze when she discussed what she thought of the Bachelor finale. He'd grow uncomfortable under Nolan's innocent questioning of what he thought of the Sunday night game. 

It wasn't even that they hadn't seen those things. But she hadn't been all alone with a bottle of wine and a pint of ice cream when the favorite of the season had been rejected last minute. And he hadn't been alone with a beer as he celebrated each of the Rams' touchdowns.
They'd been together. But they couldn't tell people that. 

She'd get on his nerves every once in a while and they'd just have to rendezvous in the supply closet no one ever checked because, well, it was kind of "that closet." 
He couldn't go a full shift without having the taste of her strawberry chapstick on his lips.
She couldn't go a full shift without having the memory of his warmth pulsating through her veins.

Secret love, all the things we do,
For secret love, baby me and you,
Got a secret love.
Stayin' under cover and out of sight,
If nobody knows, then we're doin' it right.
Secret love.
Got a secret love.

Despite the aggravation of needing to keep their relationship quiet, there was a certain allure to having a bubble around them. 

It was just them.
Their evenings together.
Their inside jokes.
Their fights.
Their make-ups from the fights.
Their safety in each other.

It was their secret. 
It was perfect.