Finding Him

C H A P T E R - T W O

Remembering Her

V A L E R I U S '   P O V :

The man I see looking back at me, isn't one I'm familiar with.

I grab my black tie and layer it over my all black suit. Today is a day for mourning. Though, every day is just as suffocating.

Ellie's birthday is in exactly ten days.

She would be sixteen. Such an important age.

Today I'll introduce myself back into the mafia. I've had a hold on it for the past few years, ever since I got better but I haven't made it public. Knowing that ten years is approaching since my Ellie was killed, I thought it was time. Not time to move on but time to get my life back on track.

I stare at a photo of us.

Her first day of school. We matched in emerald green. It's one of my favorite photos. Both of us are laughing, a true smile on our faces. It's painful to see but still, I look at it everyday, remembering her.

My hand grazes the frame. A sense of deep regret swallows me whole. I pick up the necklace beside it and put it on, around my neck. I got it for Ellie on her sixth birthday. It has a little blue heart as a centerpiece on the silver chain. It reminds me of her eyes, those beautiful eyes of hers.

After a final glance at myself, I leave my room.

I halt in the hallway. My eyes finding someone's I haven't seen in years. With my hand still on the knob I gulp down the emotion that comes rising within me.

"Valerius."

I pause, registering.

"Fabio."

My heart stops for a moment. I haven't really had a real conversation with my brother since the night Ellie was killed.

"Papà.. he said to come check on you."

I've seen a few photos of him since the past years have gone but my twenty-two-year-old brother doesn't look like how I remember. Thirty-one, it's how old he is now. Close to the same age as I was when I lost my baby.

His eyes seem dreadful, like it hurts to look at me. He's buffer by a lot. His hair is slicked back formally, it's much shorter than he used to like to keep it. Tattoos line his hands, parts of his neck.

My baby brother is all grown up.

I pull him into a hug. I don't think before I do it. I want to regret it but I don't.

"Wha—," His voice falters.

"I don't blame you."

Fabio goes quiet. He doesn't hug me back.

"Val—"

"You aren't to blame for her death." I tell him, my voice hoarse. "Even if you wouldn't have left that night, it would still of happened. I would have probably lost both of you."

I know that's why he keeps his distance from me. Fabio blames himself for Ellie's death, he thinks I do too. But I don't. I could never.