Finding Him

C H A P T E R - T W E N T Y

Secrets

E L E O N O R A ' S     P O V :

"I'm sorry." He repeats over again. This is the fifth time now.

"You can stop apologizing now."

"Never." His kiss is softly placed on my temple.

Rowan's eyes bore into mine, our noses touching. I wrap my body in his, needing the comfort. He hasn't talked to me in a few days because of our fight, plus papà took my phone. Things worked out though, they always do.

"You're ridiculous." I deadpan.

"And you're beautiful." Rowan retorts, I smile. "I love you." My heart seems to hit against my chest.

"I love you too."

I can't help but shove my head against his chest, feeling all sorts of things at once. My mind is clouded with worries but they all seem to fade when I'm with Rowan. He somehow helps me mask the emotions I try so desperately to hide.

The world seems to fade into a quiet darkness. All that's left is him and I.

"We're going to be okay, right?" I ask quietly, my head aching from my nerves.

"Why wouldn't we be?" Rowan replies while stroking my hair for comfort.

"I don't know. Just tell me we'll be okay."

I need to hear it. I need reassurance.

"Everything will play out exactly how it should. Let life take its course, Eleonora. Stop letting your head get to you."

I swallow deep, breathing out heavily.

I just need reassurance.

• • •

"This was totally long over due." Devin nudges my shoulder with a smile. I send him one back.

"I absolutely agree." I pull the blanket over my shoulders, snuggling deep into the covers. "I've missed this. Us time. No distractions." I say to Naomi and Devin as we huddle together on the couch. Naomi places a bowl of popcorn on the coffee table in front of us.

"What movie have we decided on?" Naomi asks, digging her hand into the bowl.

"Mean Girls." Both Devin and I say in synch.

"Perfect." She says.

Things get quiet, the movie plays on. I sit in the comfort of my best friends, the comfort I've been needing with all this stress eating me alive.

"So, did you and Rowan ever make up?" Devin asks.

"Yeah." I reply, still focused on the old movie.

"Really?" He asks shocked.

"Yeah." My tone is more serious. "Why?" I don't mean to sound accusing but I do.

"Nothing, he's just been acting a little weird recently. Forget I said anything."

"No." I sit up. "What is it? If something is wrong, I want to know."

I watch as Regina George pulls out her burn book and I'm starting to contemplate whether I should be making my own. I just want the truth, that's what I've always wanted. Why does no one ever want to be honest.

Well.. maybe I do sound a little hypocritical.

Devin stutters to find something to say but Naomi cuts in. "We think Rowan might be talking to someone else." She reveals and my breathing stops for a short moment.