Finding Him

C H A P T E R - T W E N T Y - S E V E N

Time is Ticking

E L E O N O R A ' S    P O V :

Life is hard. Really hard. But it can be even harder when you're biological mother wants to take revenge on your father and the guy you thought you loved attempted to murder you. Then life can be considered a little tougher than usual.

I can tell something is wrong with papà. There is something more than just stress about Katerina or finding out what happened. Something is wrong.

My life is tough, sure. But my papà, that man needs a break. For real.

"I brought you some coffee." I offer the cup to him warily. His eyes never leave his computer screen.

"Mother fucker!" Zio E shouts and slams his computer shut. I flinch and the loud noise.

All hands on deck means all of my family living in my living room.

"Thank you, Ellie." Papà slides the cup closer to him but never picks it up.

I take a seat beside him on the couch.

"Do you need help?"

I've given papà any information that I had but after that he says he just wants me to stay close. He doesn't want me to have to be responsible for figuring out this mess he said.

I don't know how my papà can be so strong, so brave. Considering everything he's had to overcome. Being hurt by his mother. Having to kill her. Losing me. Being kidnapped. Being in a coma, having no ability to walk for over a year. Katerina being alive. His entire life is a wreck but somehow he still is present. He still gives everything he has. He still shows up for me always. I could never be more thankful to anyone else in my life.

"No, I don't need any help. Thank you though." He replies swiftly.

"You're very strong, papà." He slips a hand around my waist. "Thank you for everything."

"I've told you so many times before, I'd give you the whole world if it was possible."

"I know."

Guilt creeps up on me. Sometimes I feel as though I'm the reason my papà has so many problems. His life could be so much happier without me.

"You look upset." It's a dumb statement, of course he's upset. Though, it's the only thing I can think of to say. I feel helpless.

"I'm okay."

"No you're—"

"I said I'm fine, Ellie." His voice is sharp and I know I pushed him too hard.

I stand up.

I should just leave him alone. He's stressed. I can tell. I don't want to make anything worse.

"I'm sorry. I'm just going to go upstairs. Tell me if you need anything." I leave quickly, embarrassed that I can never say the right thing.

I tuck myself deep beneath my sheets, hoping to either disappear or magically come up with a solution that will leave my family with peace. My sheets are cold and my pillow is silky. I could stay here, wrapped up for the rest of my life.

Disappearing sounds nice.

If I could start my life over, I know all the things I would change.

I would never have been taken from my papà. I would have never of known my mother. I would have learned how to ride a bike. I would have taken more pictures. Held more memories closer to my heart. I would have never of met Rowan. I would have so many friends. I wouldn't be so timid. If I could start my life over, I would have the perfect life.