Finding Him

C H A P T E R - E L E V E N

Terrible Teens

V A L E R I U S '    P O V :

I've been trained for a lot of things in my lifetime. I can overcome almost everything I'm put through. I'm prepared for every outcome, every scenario, every move.

Though nothing.. nothing could have prepared me for raising a teenager.

It makes me think, was I like this? Was I always this difficult? And as much as I would like to deny that, I know I was. And I know exactly where that attitude comes from.

Whether I'd like to admit it or not.

When I was Ellie's age, I thought I ruled the world. I fought with my parents just because I could and I did irresponsible shit because I thought it was funny.

I don't blame Ellie for having a voice or wanting to protect someone she loves. The problem is, I will not lose her again. And if I do, I most certainly won't be the cause this time.

I'm mad because she took the bullet. I'm mad that it was to save me. I'm mad that she had scars lining her stomach when she pulled up her shirt and I'm mad I couldn't focus enough to help her.

I lost my focus and I can't afford to do that. Ever. Especially not with her.

Fighting with Ellie afterwards did not help anything. It actually made everything worse.

She told me she didn't like how upset I got and that she just wanted to protect me. I let her know that I'm the parent and that means it's only my job to protect her and not vice versa but she didn't like my response. It's tough living with another you, only even more headstrong.

"Valerius! Good to see you." I'm greeted by Allegra as soon as I enter La Casa de Fiore.

"Ciao." I give her a nod.

Usually I'm in a better mood when I'm here but I still can't shake my argument with Ellie last night.

"How are you? You haven't come in for awhile.. mainly ordering online." The softness to her eyes brings me into her trap. A trap to take all my previous worries and turn them into mush.

My heart jumps out of my chest at her sincerity. It almost sounds like she's worried.

"I've just been busy." I tell her. "Adjusting to being a parent again is hard."

"I can't even imagine." She speaks, laying out some paper. "Any ideas today?"

"Astranita and a protea."

"Courage and change. You're lucky we just got some more flowers sent in." She gives me a warm smile, making something quicken my heart.

When she leaves for the back, I clear my throat to compose myself.

Is it hot in here?

"So..," Her voice startles me. "Has everything been okay? How are you?"

"It's fine."

It's definitely not going fine.

"Oh no. Is it really that bad?" A concerned smile pops onto Allegra's face. Was it really that obvious?