Growing Wings: My Avian Journal

hi again :P (+ update)

hello !! sorry for going ia, my mental health got really bad and this completely slipped my mind. i havent really had the time to think about anything other than my current hyperfixation actually. identity crises really do that do you huh. so uh. hi, idk how long i'll be back but i have some stuff to talk about so i'm here for a bit.

first of all, dream i had last night. okay i know explaining dreams is really boring n basic n stuff but i feel like its important and its literally all that's happened in the past month let me have this.

ok so a quick preface. i've always had wings in my dreams. like my whole life. i don't always realise they're there but they are in one way or another. basically dream tommy has wings already and always had them (for context, me and my friend have this idea that you and your dream self are two different people in two different worlds. think homestuck, even though that's not where i got it lol)

last night's dream was wing related (the first directly wing related one in quite a while), and was a bit weird. if i have wings, i can always see them. and im always two feet on the ground just vibing instead of actually using them. except now? this time, i couldn't see my wings. i could feel them, just like phantom ones, but they WERE there. AND I COULD FLY THIS TIME? i think i always could, but i never did until now. i think in that dream, many people had wings but never knew they did. i remember at some point i was with my friend, and i could fly but he couldn't. about half the group could, but i was the only one without visible wings.

i remember at some point i was teaching my friends (+ little brother) how to tell if they had wings. i told them to run down the road as fast as they could and then kinda half jump half step into the air and imagine your wings thrusting down. i demonstrated and flew up into the air. i don't remember who in the group had wings but i think it was the only person who knows im an avian (?). i also remember hoping that collin (brother) didn't have wings so i didn't have to share the sky with him lol. hes not good enough for it!!!

i still know the weather and how the world looked and where i was too. i was in front of my friend's house, down the street from my old house (all of my dreams have been taking place on my old street recently, it's weird). and it was witch-weather. when a storm's about to come so it's all overcast and the air is tingly and full of magic. the sky had light peeking out from it, but when i flew up above the clouds, there were more layers of clouds full of lightning. i was also the only one in the sky. i don't know if i was the only one with wings or what.

maybe next time i have prominent phantom wings, i'll try to do my step trick lol. i had other really notable dreams recently, but none of them directly involved my wings, and i don't want to make this chapter longer than it should be. maybe i'll repurpose my tarot journal into a dream one because i dont really use my cards lol.

okay i think thats it for now !! see u guys soon with real updates, hopefully. my mental health is still kicking my ass though, so don't expect much.

-tommy