Sketches

24. Comfort Kings

Baring

I opened my eyes, disoriented by the fog that seemed to have settled in my mind. With slow lethargic movements I blinked, several times. The first thing Isaw was the red football Jersey stuck to the wall followed by a surfboard leaning against a pine bookshelf and a couple of silver trophies lining the bottom shelf next to the bookshelf. Yeah, I was in Kol's room. Of course, I was. The last thing I remembered was leaving Josiah's house and ending up here.

I turned to my left and there he was, the host. Kol's hand was slang over the pillow, his mouth agape and drool was practically flowing out of his mouth. And with the way he was snoring, you would think he was an electrical generator. The sound of birds chirping outside his window was calming. I shut my eyes taking in the quiet that surrounded the birds and for a second, a very short second, I forgot what I was running from. I forgot who I was running from, I forgot just how terrified I was feeling.

But like most false dreams it didn't last long. My memories of the previous night came crashing through like a tornado wrecking through flimsy makeshift structures. The pounding in my head intensified and as if prompted vivid  memories from last night played through my mind as if someone was queuing them up. And just as I thought it couldn't get worse, last night's memories triggered my memories from the fire.

My mind felt like it was crashing in on itself under the pressure of these memories. With each new memory came a wave of guilt so sharp and intense my heart throbbed within my chest. If I didn't know better I would have thought someone was punishing me. With the weight of my choices and memories weighing me down I closed my eyes, trying with everything in me to forget. Josiah's story had shattered the false fantasy I was living in and now that it was gone I had no choice but to face my decisions. But I was not ready. Not yet.  I didn't want to face what his story meant because if I did I would have to face my past too. And that was not something I wanted to remember. Not now, not ever.

A sharp pain echoed from my scars, blossoming past my stomach moving through my body. Ignoring the gnawing feeling I pinched my eyes closed and with the pain still emanating from all over my body I sat up pulling the sheets with me. I looked over at Kol's sleeping form, and at that moment I envied his life.  The pounding in my temples seemed to intensify with every movement I made but compared to the throb in my heart it was just another Saturday.

I stood up and suddenly a bout of dizziness hit me, knocking me down again. I felt a hand tugging my t-shirt from behind, "Go back to sleep. You barely slept all night."

I looked over my left shoulder following the hand that was still clutching my shirt. Kol's eyes were closed and he was sleeping next to me in his plain black pyjamas. His brow was creased and his lips were downturned making a very good impression of the grinch. If I wasn't already in a sour mood I might have made fun of him.

"What time is it?"

"Something past nine," Kol mumbled into his pillow.

I removed his hand from my shirt making it easier for me to leave his bed. I didn't know what to do. I didn't even know what was supposed to happen next. The thought of Josiah knowing I was the reason behind his anguish terrified me. But the idea of my father turning everything on me scared me more.

Kol's voice cut through my thoughts as he sat up in his extravagant bed, "So...are you going to tell me what happened last night?"

"I fucked up. Not only that, it turns out I didn't just screw my life over but I also screwed... You know," I croaked past my scratchy throat, "I always knew my past would catch up to me. I just never thought... it would be this soon and I didn't think it would affect me in this way."

"What are you talking about? It's too early for riddles." Kol groaned rolling in his bed. I watched him slip out of his bed before he walked over to his desk chair. He sat at his desk and turned to face me, "Ok, you have my full attention. Explain everything."