Beginning of the end

Part 27 [May 8 '22]

"Hm? No, I haven't heard from Kiefer today. Is everything alright?"

The painfully gentle tone was full of concern. She was worrying about Kiefer, but also about Blake.

"No. I mean, its..." Blake couldn't lie. "Would it be alright if you watched Zelda for a couple more hours? I need to make some calls..."

"Sure." Blake had not seen her mother since childhood. Not since the law stepped in and they ended up in separate countries. She'd explained why she had never reached out to family back in Mexico and it was simply something accepted. The sort of thing that you knew without being able to pinpoint when you found out. Blake did not even talk with Rosie about their shared parents. Were they alive, or dead, still together, or even back in the states? Legally this time, perhaps. Anything was possible. It was possible that Tía Val would have been a good mother figure, but she wasn't.

It was possible that Blake would have been adopted, and not aged out of the system, or even kept contact with any foster parents like her little sister did. That hadn't happened. Instead of attaching herself to parental figured of any kind, Blake had her friends. Blake had her ex-boyfriend, and when he was taken from her, she'd turned to the music. The music had carried her through everything. Used like bandages or sutures in the worst of times, and sedatives or intoxicants where necessary. Music made the bad times okay, and the good times better.

The feeling of missing her mother was not an accepted one. The feeling of wanting to be able to look at someone and have them tell her it would be alright, and she did not need to worry was common enough. An indulgence she rarely allowed. Carla knew Blake well enough to grab her and pull her into peace where it was needed. Blake couldn't call on her right now. She needed to sort out this mess alone.

"Sweetheart. Are you alright?"

Voice control was a long-learned lesson. Blake knew how to do it, but she mostly trained to carry her emotions in her voice, not to shut them down. It was difficult to answer Seraphim's question. "I just need to make some calls."

"Would it be helpful if I brought Zelda to you this evening? I don't mind the drive. I can take the kiddos to the park and bring you some dinner on the way over?" She wanted to help. No wonder Kiefer loved her. She was so patient. Myla adored her son, but she couldn't keep the emotions from ruling her. Seraphim on the other hand, managed a measured tone. She could tell something was wrong, and she wasn't making it about her.

It would be easier to just accept some help. The conversation would stop. "Sure." Blake tried to sound grateful. "If... you just text me to let me know when you leave and when you're heading in from the park that would be good. Gracias."

"De nada."

Seraphim was cute. Blake felt the sides of her frown twitch, but she left it at that. She ended the call and pulled up a spreadsheet on her laptop. Meticulously organized and approved by the wedding planner. Sundays were bad days to call people and get them cancelled, but Blake couldn't stomach the idea of putting it off until later. They worked on Sundays, and if not, she would leave a voicemail.

There were passwords in place, in case someone besides the couple called and tried to make changes. Blake listlessly tapped the call button on her phone. She ignored a text from Carla. Add it to the pile of accumulating red exclamation points on her phone. More people to engage and sort out. She couldn't do it.

"Its already paid for, you know there won't be a refund this close to the date, right?"

Blake wanted to tell the woman that she was the third person to inform the singer of that in the last hour. "I know that." She licked some tears off her upper lip. "Just... donate the cake."