Beginning of the end

Part 14 [August 9, 2021]

Imposter in my body,
Wish I saw me in a nicer way...

Carla could tell that Blake needed a break. She hated this feeling. She needed a break? She'd been getting breaks. Why should she need break after break? She was fine. No one owed her anything. She slipped in some earbuds and tried to drown out the world. She felt like she needed quiet, but she couldn't take it. She stepped onto the concrete just outside of her place, and it felt warped. Her legs didn't look tan enough. Had she been avoiding the outside? Were they grey? Was she seeing things? The heat was getting to her, and it wasn't even that warm.

Blake wore a cropped black hoodie. It showed off the top of her cleavage. The skin between her black tank top and her crop top was only two inches, but it showed. The sleeves were long, ending just before eating up all of her fingers, with laces hanging off the edges as an unused method of sinching them higher up. She wore a short and flared dark purple skirt, showing off her legs. Carla said that Blake looked cute, but... she hadn't felt cute lately.

Yeah, you're good as you are but you could be better.

She let Dysmorphia by Girli play in her earbuds. She tugged her hood up and took a walk. Walking was beginning to feel normal. Her legs felt wrong, but getting the air was nice. When she took Zelda on a walk it ended up being a big ordeal. Zelda wanted to run into everything, meet every stranger, pet every wandering cat, and investigate all the cigarette butts or trash she could see. It was good to get her out in the fresh air, but Blake felt very much near the end of her rope. Zelda deserved better.

This image is misleading,
Don't know which me's the real thing...

There was a tapping on her shoulder. She was hardly two blocks from A Taste of Ink. She stopped, feeling tense and confused. Her hood went down first, then an earbud was pulled out as he found the pause button.

"Hi!"

She starred. Standing one or two inches taller than Blake, plus some sandalwood wedges, was the girl. The one. Viv. She'd googled her, as suggested. She was very much bubblegum pop. She even had pictures popping pink bubble gum. She didn't have a lot of followers, but she had a lot of music. Blake liked it, but she hadn't expected to see her so close to home. She looked just as put together and pure.

Blake blinked rapidly, pushing the charisma button in her brain. "Hola. Um, Viv, yes?"

Viv glowed. "You remember me! Oh that's so great. I thought, well... you probably meet so many people. You are amazing. Seriously. Blake G. Pink Slip. You're so cool." She giggled. "I sound like a fangirl, but I realized I'd heard you on the radio and... you were just so nice."

Blake wondered if they'd interacted enough to be considered nice. "Well gracias. That is very sweet of you. I really liked your music also. I did look you up. Viv Huff. Not the bunny lady. Your Instagram is very colorful."

Viv giggled more.

"And yours is very black."

Blake smiled. "This is true." She didn't post many personal photos. She used social media for the band, and she didn't necessarily want thousands of people starring at her small daughter. Or questioning her personal life events. She was good.

"Hey, so this might be kind of... weird, but do you think we could talk more?"

"Well I'm just taking a walk..." She was also feeling like she might not be in the best headspace to chat.

"No, no, not right now. In general. Like, do you want my number?"

"Do I...?" She looked so incredibly hopeful. "Uh, claro que si." She pulled out her phone and accepted the relative stranger's digits. This was fine. She'd met weirder people. Pushier people. The name and number were put in. She even took a picture of Viv smiling extra big for her contact picture. "Buena. Here." She sent a text of her own. It was worth it to see Viv beaming like that.

"Ah, thank you so much. I promise I won't bug you. I just wanted to ask about some of your songs. I thought... its just so hard sometimes, you know?" Maybe. "People say it's a waste of time," yes, "and I'm just chasing things but... I need someone who really... gets me. Makes me feel like my energy isn't being wasted." Yes.

Blake smiled gently, "Claro que si. I know how you feel. Feel free to text me. If you need advice or want to vent, I'll listen. I know what it is like to not receive support. Music is a huge part of my life. Don't worry, you are not wasting your time. In fact you have a good sound. Rollerskate and Daisy were great songs. I liked them a lot."

Viv's eyes must be shining by now. "You remember my song names... that's... ah, you're so cool."

Blake giggled. The first time for anyone besides Zelda in weeks. "De nada. I do need to keep going, but... text me."

Viv just nodded a bunch. She headed off after Blake kept walking. Odd luck.