'And the skeletons come out of the closet And chase you all around your room And the memories sail 'round like a ghost And dance around to a sad slow tune'
~Bobby Womack
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11:00pm
Malayas POV
"Cause I wanna see you when I get home "
Vons words stick with me while I watch him kiss me on the forehead and walk out the front door to wherever he's heading.
The feeling of him wanting me to wait for him until he comes home Makes me feel a certain level of comfort that I can't seem to explain.
Then after his fingers being inside of me for the first time , and him making me feel so wanted at that moment , I honestly don't think I can leave him alone .
I know what everyone's thinking , I'm a terrible person for cheating on pooh with his brother while I was literally on the phone with him , But I promise that if I could stop .. I would .
I wish I knew my worth , and poohs worth, and how much better we deserve , but for some reason von makes me so blind to the fact that what I'm doing is wrong, and will not only scar me in the long run, but may even ruin poohs life .
I hate how selfish I'm being , and everytime I'm by myself I feel all the guilt I deserve to feel . I feel alone , drowning in my thoughts of hurting someone I like so much , deceiving him in so many ways .
Letting Von give me the pleasure pooh should be able too , letting Von take the time that belongs to pooh , letting Von still my heart from one touch .
Even The thought of leaving pooh for Von crosses my head at times like this , but not only do I not want to embarrass myself , but I also I don't want to embarrass pooh .
Word gets around fast around here and me leaving someone like pooh for his brother ... he would never hear the end of it and I don't want to ruin his senior year with something as petty as this .
I try to tell myself that I'll be gone by the end of summer , and none of this will Matter when I'm back home . All the lies will be left behind and I'll be back in school , awaiting college . I just hope I can forget someone like Von , and not fall to deep for him . Kinda like I am now .
I finally find a seat on the living room couch , like a puppy waiting for their owner to come home , and pull out my phone going straight to Instagram to kill time looking through my feed at my fine ass friends .
