Letters to my lover

#1

To someone who will fill my life in the future. This is my love letter that I will share to you later when I am ready to open up my feelings.

I have seen a lot in my life. Especially the people around me. How they live their lives, their personal lives, or the lives of those whose relationships are wider. I mean about marriage.

My lifetime friend, apparently, marriage is not as easy as what we watch on television. I feel like those films are just a public fool of hope. What's with hope?

Come to think of it, out of 7 billion people in the world, and you choose to live with someone with a background that is always unexpected, but you love him very much, and then you get married? What hope do they mean? Do you think their lives stop there?

That's why I watched The Notebook up to 10 times. Until I memorized the dialogue correctly. Because it's different. The story didn't just stop when they find each other's love, but until the end of their lives. Although, still, the intricacies of their marriage are not told.

Other films give us a dupe of hope. Yes, again, I call that hope. Because the reality that I see is not as simple as a movie script. We think after we get a life partner we will live more peacefully and better. Hahaha very unhealthy expectations.

Because all I see is pain. Always about pain. I saw how pitiful many women in front of me who couldn't cry. And where is the hope shown in the films?

In my opinion, the most reasonable genre of film is a horror film. Isn't that funny? Because they display fear, anger, hatred, which terrorizes their life in that moment, and all those feelings are real, and can live in the future too, dwelling in their daydreams. It's more real than the fantasy of a romantic movie.

My dear, do I sound so cynical and angry here?

But what can I do, my reality is in a dream of marriage that is so scary. I can't deny the fact I don't want to hope. As much as I don't want to have the hopes that come with those crap movies.