You squirmed in your sleep feeling hot and uncomfortable so you tried to remove the arms that are around you but it just tightened making you frown, "Ran, I'm getting hot. Stop clinging on me—"
"Izana."
Those words made you open your eyes, "H-Huh?"
"I'm Izana." He said with a serious expression. You turned to him and you saw his face darkened.
"I-I'm sorry, I'm just used to Ran cuddli-" he cut you off by claiming your lips. You were shocked by his action so you pushed him, "I-Iza-mhm!" He bit your lower lip and shoved his tongue inside your mouth melting you with his kisses.
You wrapped your arms around his neck as his kisses travelled down your neck. "Call my name, y/n." He ordered as he looked into your eyes.
You bit your lower lip, the purple shade of his eyes were overlapping Ran's shade of purple. You don't know why but you're remembering him. It's like the same nostalgia you are feeling with Ran. You don't know what is happening to you.
"I said call my name, y/n. Don't go quiet on me." He demanded and you can see his jaw gritting. He can feel your changes and he doesn't like it, you're his.
"Izana..." You mumbled while looking at him and you don't know why but tears fell from your eyes and that alarmed him. He was about to wipe your tears but you tilted your head to avoid his touch, "I'm sorry, but please leave me alone for a while." You said while looking away.
"Why? Are you hurt? Do you need—"
"I said leave me alone for a while. Seeing your face this near to me is hurting me. I don't know why, but please leave me alone for a while." You coldly muttered while tears were falling from your eyes. The pain that he caused is carved on your being, you stare at the bed, at this place he tied you as he made, you watch him embrace another woman.
You are forcing yourself to remember happy memories with him but you can only think of his harsh treatment, him cheating on you and hurting you physically, it's like you are stuck there.
He was about to reach for your face and wipe your tears but seeing your distant expression made him stop. Izana bit his lower lip, he can't blame you for your behaviour because he was the one who caused it but he can't help but be mad.
So to not explode on you he stood up from the bed and wore his clothes, "I see. Then I'll just bring us breakfast, I'm sorry again.. And I love you, y/n." He said before going out of the room.
You hugged your knees and leaned on it as tears fell from your eyes, "Why am I hurting whenever I see you Izana? Why do your words feel meaningless now..? I don't like it... I don't like this." You muttered to yourself. You are wailing your heart out until you drifted back to sleep and Izana arrived when you're fast asleep. He silently sat on the corner of the bed as he caressed your hair.
He stared at your face and a painful smile crept on his lips, "Y/n... I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry." He muttered before kissing your swollen eyes. He knows that you are hurting but he can't let you go. Call him selfish but he believes that you two are nothing without each other.
Izana caressed your cheeks, "I know that I don't deserve to be with you anymore but I still want to be the reason that you're happy. I'm so sorry that I realized your worth too late already... I'm sorry..."
You bit your lower lip, you woke up when you felt someone caressing your hair and you heard Izana's words. "I hate you, Izana... I hate you so much that it hurts a lot. But I can't live without you.." You mumbled with your eyes closed.
"You... You still love me right?" He hesitatingly asked so you opened your eyes and looked at him with a pained smile on your lips.
"I love you but not the way it used to."
Your words got him stiff but you just stood up and shrugged him off. You wore your clothes, "What kind of breakfast did you buy? I'll prepare it." You asked without looking at him.
"H-Huh?" He asked like he didn't understand you, and he really did not because he's still thinking of what you said.
"I said the breakfast—"
He suddenly grabbed your wrist startling you, "W-What?" You asked him.
"Why did it change?" He asked with pain audible in his voice.
"Huh?"
"Your love for me.. Why did it change?"
You looked at him, "What did you expect, Izana? After all you've done I still love you the same? I just came back here because life feels so hard without you but now that this is happening I think I made the wrong decision—"
"Shut up!" He suddenly yelled at you, making you flinch. "You're mine, y/n. Why would you say that?" He angrily asked so you gave him a glare.
"What? You treated me as a worthless bitch that you could replace anytime. Casting aside my feelings, bringing home other women and fucking them exactly here where I sleep with you, you think that's nothing?!" You yelled back at him before pulling your wrists away from his grasp.
"If you're just gonna be like this then I'll leave. Like what Ran said, choose my happiness but I don't know if you're still my happiness, Izana. Can you really be my happiness or is this just some lingering mental attachment to you?" You mumbled before turning your back to him.
You were about to walk away when you felt a pair of arms hug you from behind. "I-I'm sorry for snapping at you... I'm just on edge these days. I'm sorry, y/n. Please don't leave me. I love you. I will do anything for you.." He mumbled and you felt your shoulders getting soaked where he was leaning.
You felt the familiar tightening in your chest as you bit your lower lip, your tears fell from your eyes. "Can we really fix this..? I'm hurting Izana... It's so painful.."
"Of course.. We have to fix this. I-I can't let you go, y/n. I love you so much to let you go. Not again." He said in a low voice.
"Then let's start at you stop saying that you love me. I've already grown tired of those words. You know what, I'm having a hard time believing that you love me." You seriously said.
His I love you feels so bitter now. It doesn't serve its meaning anymore. All it can do is hurt me now...
His hand reached for your cheeks, caressing it as he made you look at him."Then can I just say that I love you without saying it?" He whispered before leaning on you and kissing your forehead.
Your brows furrowed, "How would you do that?"
Izana flashed a charming smile at you before saying, "You're my other half, to whatever ends, y/n. I'll do anything just to make it up with you. Just please stay by my side.."
YOU ARE READING
Safe Haven || Kurokawa Izana
Fanfiction❝ You're just a pawn at my disposal! ❞ Growing up with Kurokawa Izana, he became your only family. The sole person whom you learned to care for and loved. Your relationship were once sweet but not until he got involved with gangs. The Izana you onc...
