TRIGER WARNING*** (two weeks later)
Regret. It's something I've been feeling a lot lately. Regret for cutting, regret for "ending" things with Frank and regret for the past. I've either spent all my time in therapy or in bed crying wanting to die, which even for me is pathetic.
Every single minute without frank is a minute in which I don't want to be alive. I should have never ended it. I feel so guilty now and that's a feeling that no one wants to endure.
I'm so depressed right now and it's tearing away at me.
"Gerard come eat diner!" my mom yelled cheerfully. It wasn't genuine at all, so I declined.
I always end up scrolling through old messages between me and frank and that was exactly what I had been doing for hours. It got me thinking about how foolish and how blind I was that true love was right in front of me.
And then I remembered. "I never flushed the blades." I whispered under my breath. I ran to my desk and opened the blue pencil case where I kept my extra pills for suicide and my blades for lonely nights without frank.
I paced back and forth with tears streaming down my soft fragile skin.
"I have to flush- no I can't I want to hurt" I kept on whispering. this is what caused me to try to end my life last year. My thoughts kept eating away at my soul and it was causing me not to be able to protect myself.
I want to die I had my mind set on dying now. But not now. I had to see Frank first.
YOU ARE READING
I'm Not Ok. I Promise.
Fiksi PenggemarGerard- I Started heavily drinking and doing drugs after my sister was diagnosed with cancer. When I tried to commit suicide I was pulled out of school and being forced to take pills that cause me even more physical pain than emotional pain. But thi...
