Ups&Downs

6

Miranda came home from work and the house was quiet. Ben had everyone for the week and Miranda honestly hated it. It was lonely at the house with out anyone and she missed Ben sleeping beside her at night.

She missed him being her husband. She missed coming home and venting to him, having him rub her feet as they talked. She missed loving him and him loving her.

Ben was everything that she could ever want. There was no other man that she could think of to ever replace him. He was made and put on this earth to be with her and Miranda knew that.

She hated that the scenario of him dying was real every single day. Every time he walked out of the door and went to work...he could potentially die. His job was a turn off and made her scrunched her nose up in disgust and yet still she wanted him in every kind of way.

Miranda made up in her mind that she took vows to accept him and be with him for better or for worse. They were supposed to be together until death due us part and it didn't matter if the death part was two weeks, two years or two decades from now.

Miranda grabbed her keys and she walked back outside, getting to her car ready to go over to Ben's to get her husband back and praying to God that he would forgive her and take her back.

Miranda was thinking of things to say to him the whole ride over. She wanted to let him know that she was sorry and that she loves him and that this would never ever happen again. She wanted to tell him that she missed and needed him and she valued him. 

Miranda drove to his house and she parked in the front and turned the car off. She started to get out of the car but then she saw Ben leaning against a car talking to some woman. The woman looked familiar like she's seen her before but she couldn't exactly place where.

Ben was smiling and laughing with the woman and then what he did next made Miranda feel like a dagger went through her heart.

He leaned in, cupped the lady’s cheek and kissed her. Miranda wanted to start her car up and leave immediately but she didn't want to risk being seen.

The woman wrapped her arms around his neck and pushed herself into him as they kissed.

"I'm going to be sick." Miranda groaned trying to stomach what her eyes were seeing.

She tried to close her eyes and blink because maybe it was a dream but it in fact, wasn't a dream at all. The man that she loved had another woman leaned up against her car kissing her and the only person she could be mad with was her self.

Miranda watched as they broke apart and the woman turned. Miranda stared into her face trying to see if she was even Ben's type.

She was shorter than him, check
Miranda had to admit she had a nice body, she was skinnier than she was and she didn't have as much curves that she had but still nice, so check.
She actually got a date from him, so she proved to be a challenge and feisty, so double check.

Miranda placed her hands on her forehead as she was now crying. She watched as Ben opened up her car door and she got inside before she drove away. Ben put his hands into his pockets and he had a wide smile plastered on his face as he walked up the driveway to his house. After she was for sure he was gone, Miranda started her car and left.

Getting home, Miranda walked into her house and she finally broke down. She stood putting her face into her hands as she cried.

She walked to the kitchen and set her things down grabbing a glass and looking in the cabinet for her bottle of bourbon.

Two drinks in Miranda decided that she should let him go be free and be happy. He's happy now and she shouldn't change it.

The next day Miranda dragged herself to work. She went and got herself some coffee and took a sip as she walked through the hall.

"Good morning chief." Dr. Wright greeted.

"Good morning." Miranda returned not so happily.

"I would have got your coffee for you." He said confused.

"I am fine. Everything I need I can get myself doctor Wright."

"Yes, ma'am sorry. "

Miranda nodded her head and walked off. She walked upstairs instead of taking the elevator, trying to get her steps in.

Now on the second floor she saw the same woman that has been haunting her sense last night. Her grey scrubs was a clear indication that she worked in ophthalmology.

Miranda stayed back and she looked the woman up and down from a far. Her hair was pulled back into a pony tail and she was smiling handing the nurse a chart.

Was Ben serious out of all the women he was seeing did he really have to pick one that worked at her hospital.
Miranda rolled her eyes and blew out a breath wishing everything just wasn't a slap in the face.

Miranda was working in the pit, when she caught Ben rolling someone in.

He was looking around and usually she would know it was for her but now she was sadly sure it was for the other woman.

"Hey Miranda." Ben greeted when she walked out and started assessing the man on the gurney.

"Hey." She greeted dryly.

"Oh boy...what did I do now?" He sighed.

"You could have gave me a heads up that the woman you were seeing works here with me. Why would you find a woman at my job of all places. You know how much this hospital loves to gossip, no body knows we are getting a divorce. They find out you are seeing her and I have one bad day they are automatically going to assume I can't do my job because of my feelings of a failed married." Miranda huffed.

"I didn't find out she works here until last night. She told me that she was an ophthalmologist but I assumed a doctor's office originally until she was talking about the hospital. How do you even know who I am seeing." Ben questioned crossing his arms.

"Never mind all that. You just have some weird choices."

"Miranda I swear I wasn't trying to embarrass you at your job, we are just casual dating." Ben explained.

"And I'm pretty sure last night was date three." Miranda sneered frustrated.

"Huh?" Ben questioned confused.

"Nothing, I gotta go Ben. I will see you tomorrow night when I come to pick Pru up." Miranda stressed taking the injured man to a bed.

"Sorry about the unprofessionalism I displayed."

"You love him and you need to tell him." The man responded.

"I'm sorry?" Miranda questioned.

"I'm a therapist, I have a building down town. You have major love for your husband and you need to get it out. You should tell him."

"I was going to last night and I saw him kissing the woman that I just found out works here."

"Ohhh." He sighed and Miranda checked his eyes. "I just want him to be happy." Miranda explained as she was now hooking him up and checking his blood pressure and heart rate.

"You want him to be happy but happy with you and nobody else. "

"Crazy right?" Miranda chuckled.

"Why are you getting a divorce in the first place?" He questioned.

"It's my own dam fault. I asked for one because of his career choice. I left him once before because of fire fighting being so dangerous and then we got back together. I had a miscarriage and shut him out…

"You blamed him?"

"No....yes, a little. His job contributed to my stress and my job. I blamed myself mostly and I hated myself for a while. I hated that I couldn't give my husband a baby. If you could have seen how excited he was the day I told him and through out. You would understand how horrible I felt as a wife and mother." Miranda explained. " you were brought in because you fainted?" Miranda questioned looking at the screen.

"Yeah, I tried to tell my secretary that I was fine. I'm fine. Finish telling me." He waved off.

"Mr. Davis you are not fine. Syncope is the medical term for fainting and from your numbers. I am pretty sure it's your heart."

Miranda pulled out her stethoscope and listened to his heart. "Do you often feel dizzy or unusually tired?"

"The dizziness started two weeks ago. I was tired a lot this week so I took off. I felt better today which is why I went into work. I sat a my desk doing paperwork for insurance and when I went to stand...I woke up with my secretary over me, dialing 911." He explained and Miranda nodded.

"Dr. Wright." Miranda called out as he walked by.

"Yes Chief."

"Put in an order for a chest X-ray and ECG and take Dr. Davis up."

"Page me with the results."

"You sure you don't want to page Cardio?"

"Dr. Wright what did I say. I want to get the preliminary test done and if it is what I deemed it to be then I will page cardio." Miranda voiced annoyed.

"Am I dying?" Dr. Davis asked.

"I can assure you that you are not dying. I heard a murmur when listening to your heart. Which let's me know that your heart valve is not functioning the way that it should. The test will be able to explain more and I will have more information for you then." Miranda explained as Jordan wheeled him off.

After getting Dr. Davis results she walked into his room with his chart.

"Okay Dr. Davis you have a valvular heart disease and it's called Valvular stenosis which is, the stiffening of heart valves. This can narrow the size of the valve opening and restrict blood flow. It keeps the valve from opening fully and reduces the amount of blood that can flow through. In severe cases, the valve opening can become so narrow that the rest of the body may not receive adequate blood flow." Miranda explained.

"How could this happen?" He questioned.

"Sometimes its just from getting older." Miranda informed.

"So what are my options?"

"I paged our cardiac surgeon, she will be here shortly and inform you on the further steps... I'm sorry I wish I could have had better news." Miranda frowned.

"It's fine. I know what would cheer me up...if you finish telling me about your marriage and I can give you some insight."

"I really shouldn't. I have to work and you need to rest."

" please...You fix my heart and I fix yours." He pointed to the seat beside his bed.

Miranda sighed playfully and smiled taking a seat.

"I didn't even get to tell you that I had a heart attack the year before I initially left him."