i put away the little things in the fridge that i got while i was at work as i reflect on my day.
there was little to no mishaps with the customers and the day really sped by from all the customers constantly coming in and out.
i was trying not to think about hermela so i wouldn't be pissed at the fact that i only know her name. i mean if she's seeing me around, she's sure there's a next time so i probably have nothing to worry about.
but i'm worrying because she took my breath away. and i never say corny shit like that but i don't really care honestly.
the house is so empty and quiet because my mom works nights now. i guess me and betsy have the house to ourselves.
as if on cue i hear her padding into my room huffing and puffing. i pat my bed so that she can join me even though my mom doesn't like for her to be on the furniture.
i unlock my phone while scratching behind her floppy ears as i make my way to my room unsure of what to do with the rest of my day now that i'm off work.
i tap through my friends stories that look like potential clips for a montage in an indie coming of age movie. and i'm jealous.
i shrug it off and move to my dm's.
the unread messages from nula is flashing red at me.
it's probably best to leave her messages unread, because if i open it, i open all of the unresolved issues we have and i'm forced to actually try to understand what the hell we are.
if you want to be simple, we're friends with benefits.
there was no strings attached going on 2 years and it was going good. or at least that's what i tried to convince myself. in better words the sex was so good and our bond was something i'd never experienced but i didn't want to mess up what we had by telling her how i felt. i held up my end of the bargain but i guess she lacks self control the way i do.
she had fell in love with me.
this was news to me because for a while i believed no one could fall in love with me, as dark as that sounds. there's too much wrong and yet not enough about me that deems it impossible to push through all my shit and find someone in there worthy of loving.
i don't think i'm evil or cold-hearted, i just have a lot of issues.
nula has it all together and the fact that she got wrapped up in me was shocking.
i liked her a lot but i didn't feel that strongly about her also any feelings ruined everything or acknowledged ones at least. i guess it's not really all that fair to force her to keep her mouth shut for my sake when she loved me.
so i ended it.
now i'm looking at the 9+ unread messages possibly from story replies and i'm bored and sad cause i don't have anyone to really hang out with.
i skip over all the stuff at the top and i ask if she wants to come over.
it's probably like not good that i knew she would say yes but now i'm sitting here with her on my bed looking into her light brown eyes with flecks of gold and i can't breathe almost.
she looks different a little.
her face has matured in a way i can't explain. her hair isn't in dark coils to her shoulders but now blond and clipped really short, her tiny little curls neatly placed.
but her lips are still as pink as ever and her freckles remain plastered over her face, beauty marks here and there. her vanilla scent never went away it's almost intoxicating.
