To keep a secret [ troyler fanfic ]

burning ramen 1

*^*TROYE*^*

I waked down the road angry and frustrated. What had happened? We had both said that we loved each other during the fight. Was that the problem, that we truly did love each other? Whatever it was, we broke up over it. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed Connor. "Hey troye, I didn't know you were in town. Didn't you go back home like a month ago?" Said Connor. "Connor, I need a place to stay for the night. Maybe a couple depending on what happens" I said tears welling up in my eyes. "Ya, you always have a place to stay here Troye." Said Connor. "what happened?" He continued. "I'll tell you when I get there" I said then hung up the phone. It was cold, wet, and dark outside. It took over an hour before I got to Connors place. I knocked on the door, and he answered immediately. "Troye, what happened? You called me an hour and a half ago." Said Connor getting me a blanket and some coffee. "Me and Tyler broke up." I said as he was coming with the coffee. That cup ended up being dropped and shattered on the ground. "What?" He said signaling for me to sit down on the couch. "What happened? you guys seemed like you were doing so well?" Connor continued. "Well, he asked me how long I was staying for, I told him, he got really happy, we started making out, then he asked what happens when I leave, I said we will figure it out, then he said we won't be able to say goodbye, I said you will just have to trust me, he said he doesn't want another broken heart from me, I said then I'll leave, he said leave, then he kissed me again and told me to get out of his house." That's what happened. It seemed to be such a crash and burn. I started to cry, Connor gave me a hug, but I pushed him away. "I'm sorry, I don't any one to touch me. It just reminds me of, well, him." I said closing my self off from Connor. He sat on the other side of the couch just twiddling his thumbs. I curled up and started crying. "Fuck, why do I love him?" I said putting my head between my knees and falling into Connors lap. He put his arms around me. I fell asleep in his arms on the couch.

*^*TYLER*^*

Once he left I regretted it. I fell to the floor crying. What did I do. I loved him and I told him to leave. After hours of crying I got up and grabbed a bottle of vodka and started drinking it. Two shots, I texted Sawyer. Six more shots, I called korey, 3/4 of the bottle, I spammed Troye on all media platforms, whole thing, I passed out six blocks down from my house in an ally.

The next morning, I woke up in some ally throwing up my guts. It was the worst hangover I'd ever had. It being sad drunk didn't make it any better. I didn't know where I was. I stumbled out of the ally to fall face first on the concrete. "Tyler?" I heard some one say. The voice sounded familiar, but I couldn't figure out who it was. "Tyler is that you?" Said the voice again. My vision was hazy so I saw the blob of a blonde above me. I soon passed out again. I didn't know if I was being lifted up by angels, or some EMT who knew I had alcohol poisoning. It was neither. Hours later I woke up on at a couch needing to throw up. "Where's the bathroom!" I yelled. "Just throw up on the floor!" Yelled the voice. "Shit, that is really hot!" Continued the voice. I proceeded to throw up on the floor. "Uhh, do you like burned ramen?" Said the voice again. "Shit, that's still hot!" Yelled the voice again. "Can I ask you a question?" I said trying no to fall into my own vomit. "What?" Said the voice walking into the living room. I looked over to see grace standing in the door way with a pot of ramen that was on fire. At that moment I did fall into my own puke. Grace picked me up and dragged me to her bathroom and put me in her bathtub. "What happened to you?" She said while turning on the water. "Vodka happened" I said rinsing my face. "Well, I'm going to take care of you" said grace pouring water over my back. "Thanks grace" I said wiping my hair back. "So what happened?" Asked grace.
"I told you, vodka"
"No, what REALLY happened"
"oh, me and Troye got in a fight"
"Wait, what?"
"Ya, we yelled at each other a lot, then I told him to leave"
"Oh my gosh, where is he?"
"I don't know"
"Do you think it's really over"
"I don't know, I hope it isn't."
"Wait, so you still love him?"
"Yes, of course I do"
"Then go get your man"
"But what if he hates me"
"Ok, I'm not that good at the whole love thing, but I think if you love him, go get him"
"Can I throw up again" I asked grace and she moved out of the way of the toilet. I hurled my guts out for a third time that day. I felt so sick, it was insane.

*^*TROYE*^*

I woke up in his arms, but it wasn't Tyler's arms. it was Connor's. it wasn't the same. something almost felt wrong about it. like i was cheating on Tyler. Troye, what are you thinking. Tyler hates you. Just act natural. Connor woke up. "hey Troye" Connor said rubbing my hair. "want some coffee?" asked Connor. lightly touching my cheek. was he flirting with me? i had to make it clear that the thing with Tyler is just a hiccup and that were going to get back together. But what if we didn't? Could i have something with Connor? but i don't like Connor that way. I never have. "sure, coffee sounds great" I said trying to act casual....