Troubled (Dallon Weekes' sister)

-13-

Elle-

I woke up, still in the same white sheeted bed, in the same white gown and still, with those horrid cuts in my arms, Dallon was still here to, he was staring at the wall, with his hands on his head and he had swollen red eyes, it was all, because of me.

"Do you need anything?" he asked walking towards me, i nodded my head.

"Uh, water please" i said blankly and he nodded and poured a cup of water for me "I am sorry for what i said before" i said then drank a little bit of water.

"It's okay, no problem, kid" he said patting my back, I knew i had hurted him with my comments.

"Dallon, really, i am sorry, i was, am, really scared, i don't want to be in rehab" i said and a tear scaped my eye, i was so tired of it, of crying 'weak' no, you stop it, i don't want to hear it.

"Elle, it's okay, i know you're scared, even i'm scared, but you need to get better, and maybe getting away from everyone will make you feel good again" he said, and he was kind of right, may be i just needed to get away from everyone and evrything that is hurting me, i nodded my head and hugged him, then i heard a knock in the door, Dallon turned to see who was there and there was Annya, he looked at me and i nodded, then he whispered "we will keep talking later okay kid?" i nodded and he walked out.

Annya sat down by the end of the bed and remained silent, glancing at my bandaged arms, and i would've gotten mad if anyone looked at them, but she got it, she didn't gave me that stupid pity look i hated the most, she just, was seeing them. This was getting all akward so i decided to just talk.

"Hello, Annya" i said in a blank tone of voice, of course she was my best friend, or so i thought, but i was still mad at her.

"Elle, I'm sorry for those thing i said" she said looking at my eyes, there was that sincerity reflecting "I really am sorry, it was really stupid to say those things" i nodded and looked at her thinking on what to answer.

"Look, it's hard, you know? Like to deal with myself and then deal with my parents, so i decided to take a break, and then i came back, really happy to see you, kind of okay again, and you say that i am a stupid person for hurting myself, and may be, i really am, but that's my shit to deal with" i said letting everything i hadn't said go, and it was a good relief, she just nodded her head in order for me to continue, "So, we're okay, i guess, just, don't assume you know what the hell is to self harm or to want to die every single day, even i am smiling, i am like an effing mess inside my head" a tear streamed down her face, and i could see pure regret in her eyes.

"I know, I'm sorry, i just don't know it, and i assumed may be it was easier to get mad because you left me, i really felt alone while you weren't here" Annya said and she grabbed my hand "And i know i can't take all those things i said back, but if it helps, i wanted to hug you so tight"

"I know, i did to, and i missed you too, a lot, but i will miss you more after i tell you this" i said looking at her eyes, she was happy then she got al serious, and i felt that know right there in my stomach "I will not come back to school, my parents think its better for me to go to a rehab shit" i said serious but still cracked a smile.

"What? for how long? but, what about graduation, and cosmetology?" she said and her voice broke, then she broke and started crying "You can't leave, i missed you and now i won't be seeing you"

"Annya, i will still be here, any time, and visits can be good, i will just be like, in another place, but you can always count with me, and about school, i will finish it, but like, in that place, and i guess cosmetology will have to wait" i said and hugged her, we hugged for a long time and she kept crying, so i started to cry too, she was my best friend, almost like my sister.

"It won't be the same, you don't need rehab, i will tell your parents that" She said and i just shook my head, then a nurse came in to check my wounds, she asked Annya to leave but she didn't, so when the nurse uncovered the cuts, she was grossed out, or shocked, i don't really know how to describe her face, the nurse cleaned then and it hurted like shit, i swear it stung and i almost cried, Annya holded my hand and just smiled at me when tears spilled.

Annya and i spent a few more time talking and we laughed about a lot of stupid things, then visit hours were over and my family came in, we were just chatting about how things were gonna be, and i was scared shitless about it, and my parents were worried, Dallon, well he was sad and worried and everything, just as me, the difference was, that he wasn't going there.