Troubled (Dallon Weekes' sister)

-6-

Elle-

"Well hello" Brendon said and stoopd up to hug me, i hugged back and smiled, this day was... Uh mostly good 'it won't last' ugh go away.

"Hey! What are you doing here?" I asked and let go of him, both of us sat down on the couch and Dallon came in with drinks.

"Oh just visiting, you know, couldn't leave my Dallon alone" Brendon said and Dallon pushed him playfully, i giggled and just nodded my head, it was going to be like hell with both of them bothering me.

"Awesome Bren, I'm glad to see you" i said and stoop up "i am going to my room guys, so yeah, it's awesome to have you both here and may be tomorrow we can do something, if you need me you know where I am" then i walked to my room and closed the door, i removed my makeup and made a ponytail, then changed into red pj's, as I was changing my pants, i checked on my cuts, they looked just really red, but nothing else, in a week or two they will be completly healed.

I plugged in my earphones and listened to 'Love At First Sight' from The Brobecks, that was Dallon's first band, i was quietly singing when i got a text.

Gabe: Ellee<3

Elle: Hey you! What are you doing?

Gabe: in my room, thinking about you, what bout u?

Elle: Humming songs that remind me of you:)<3 and im half asleep

Gabe: then go to sleep love:)

Elle: fineeeee, i love u, call you tomorrow

Gabe: love u more Elle<3

I was still listening music and i really don't remember falling asleep. I woke up hyperventilating and hot tears streamed down my face, damnit, that nightmare again, but why? It's been a long time 'it will always haunt you' the voice said and i just cried more, i felt a pair of arms being wrapped around me then i saw Dallon, who was hugging me and Brendon who was turning on the lamp. And i kept sobbing, i tried to stop but seriously failed at it.

"Hey shhh it's okay" Dallon said still hugging me "It's okay, i'm here now, shhh it was just a dream" oh Dall, but it wasn't a dream. Brendon joined our hug and i felt myself being calmed a bit, i was now breathing better and i felt my eyes sore but no longer full of tears.

"I'm g-good" I said and the hug just got tighter "guys, help, can't breathe" they smirked and let me go 'get rid of them' no, i want them here, i tried to ignore the voice to continue my late night conversartion.

"What was your nightmare about?" Brendon asked and they both looked me in the eye. 'Lie' fine.

" umm, i was umm killed" i said trying to sound scared and ashamed, and i was both of them, but because of different things. Dallon hugged me again and kissed my head "i will sleep again" i said trying to sound more in calm

"Really? I mean, I can sleep with you, don't be ashamed" Dallon said and i just giggled, a part of me wanted him to stay but then 'get rid of him, he'll ruin the plan' the voice inside my head had another plan...

"Yeah, totally sure. Go to sleep" i said and smiled, they both nodded and kissed my forehead then left my room 'now some self torture' no, please, not again, just like i was hypnotized, I walked to the bathroom and took my blade, sat on the floor and started slicing my wrists 'go deeper' no, this is not what i want, i need to go back to sleep, but a part of me still wanted to be there, cutting, laying in the floor while i see the blood stain my skin, it hurted so damn much, but it was also kind of relieving, but, tomorrow, i will suffer to cover them up, like really suffer.

after an hour or so of sielntly being crying and making the bleeding stop, i went back to my bed, but i spent another hour in there, staring at the dark ceiling, thinking of what to do with my life, i was supposed to be happy, not cutting in a bathroom 'but here you are, great job'

I don't remember when did i fell asleep, but when i woke up, my wrists were really sore, i didn't knew why, then i remembered everything, I woke up and went to the bathroom to wash my face and teeth, then i grabbed an oversized sweater from the closet and wore it to cover up my wrists, just for my luck it was kind of cold so i had an excuse, i went downstairs and saw nobody there, so i assumed everyone was still asleep, I went to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water, i was kind of still asleep because I didn't heard my mum calling my name.

''Elle, honey, it's really early, why are you up?'' she said looking concerned, well more like blurry, i didn't had my glasses on, so yeah...

''uh, I don't know, i was going back to my room'' i lied and she nodded and we walked together upstairs ''i'm going back to bed'' i said and went inside my room, i sat on the edge of the bed and looked at my phone, i had a message.

Annya- Hey girl, what's with you and Gabriel?

Elle- Call me as soon as you are up:)

I assumed that because it was weekend and because it was Annya, she wouldn't be up until late, so i grabbed my sketch book and some color pencils and began drawing my secret makeup collection, i started drawing the products and its containers a long time ago, but i had forgotten about the book until now, so i started colouring and designing, my collection had no name, no one ever had seen it, and probably nobody ever will... but it was mine, and that was just awesome, since i was smal and saw magazines and stuff where models were wearing these neon colours on their eyes and lips, i loved the idea of making that possible.

yeah, ridiculous, but it was, and it still is my dream 'That will never come true' shut up.