Help

fourteen

F L O R E N C E

It's cold out.

There's a squirrel a couple metres away from me. It's stuffing its face with acorns. It's cute... carefree.

"Florence where are you?" Massimo asks for the third time over the phone. I drag my eyes away from the bushy creature, turning my head left and right.

"I don't know."

My body shakes with shivers. Winters fast approaching. I didn't realize how windy it was earlier, the sun provided enough warmth to keep me from questioning the weather. Now, the sky is stretched for as far as I can see in thick grey clouds. No more sun.

"I am going to track your phone alright? I'm almost near your school." He sounds stressed, it's my fault.

"I turned right, then another right. I think I'm on the corner of the second right turn."

I can't remember. I can't remember how I got here on the pavement merely metres from the squirrel. I don't know how I managed to crack my phones screen or cut my shin.

It's bleeding a lot.

My whole life I've managed to stay hidden, to stay quiet. I made a scene in class, I have the attention of the schools bullies, my father... he killed Jakes family.

Nothing makes any sense any more. The tears are long gone, even though I am cold from the sharp wind and my shin prickles with pain, my mind is numb.

My lungs do not work. My mind can't function. My shirts too tight.

Massimo is too loud. He's talking too loud on the speaker, despite the phone being placed face up on the ground a good metre away from me.

"Florence are you hurt?"

I stay quiet.

He sighs, "it's okay, you can tell me, I am not mad at you my baby. I just want you to be okay."

I can't hear him.

My thoughts are spiralling, the realization of what I've done finally breaking through my numb, exhausted mind.

"Why can't you just talk?" Layla my best friend says to me.

I can't... I just can't. I wish I could Layla, I really wish I could.

She looks behind her. "Everyone is making fun of me for being your friend. Just because you've decided to isolate yourself, doesn't mean you can drag me down with you. I don't want to be loser of sixth grade."

I just stare back at her. Not understanding what she is trying to say to me. She's my only friend. I can't lose her.

"I don't want to be your friend anymore."

I was the loser from sixth grade onwards. Teachers hated me, students hated me. I had no friends. They constantly bullied me. Mama bullied me. So did Trey.

"You know what happens if you speak right?" Mama grips my shoulders, the most threatening, menacing look plastered on her face. We are about to walk into the Doctors office for my yearly check up.

I nod.

"If you so much as speak, or utter a single word, you will break a rule. You know what happens when you break a rule and then the doctor will punish you by taking you away from me. They will put you in a state home. You'll be treated as a slave, you'll be killed. You don't want that to happen to you do you?"

I shake my head.

"Good. You're better silent anyways. You have nothing to offer, no intelligence, or helpful insight. Don't let anyone know you're just a stupid waste of space."