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seventeen

F L O R E N C E

All night I've been drifting in and out of sleep. One minute I'm relaxed, the next I'm in a cold sweat gripping my bedsheets in fear that I'm back with Mom. The drowsiness has my body feeling like it's being spun around a million times. The room is spinning yet I'm lied down on my back.

The nausea from the spinning makes me gag, but I can't stand up. Hiccuping, with force I rub my crying eyes.

I feel like I'm on a boat. The waves are crashing against the ship at different directions jolting the boat back and forth. I feel seasick, but I'm in my bed. Not on the sea. I've never even been to the beach let alone the sea.

I cry, the nausea, spinning room, and drowsiness gets too much. I hiccup and squeeze my eyes shut. It doesn't help with the spinning.

I want Massimo, or Emilio. Maybe crying louder will help?

Why can't I catch a break? It's been a full two weeks since I dropped out of school. Lucien's nose is still bruised but the bandages are off. I haven't spoken much since the incident. The only time Massimo can get a few words out of me is when it's just us.

I don't know why I trust him over all the others.

I wish I could talk to Emilio, Lucien, and Dominic. I can't though. Something stops me everytime.

So I cry, and it takes two minutes until someone finally hears. I don't even realize Dominic frantically standing over me until he turns my little bedside lamp on.

"What's wrong baby?" He asks frantically, while his eyes search for the source of my pain. I don't answer. The spinning is worse in the light. "It's going to be okay Flo."

"Florence I know you don't like to speak and I understand, trust me I do. But this is one of those times where you need to tell me what's wrong. I will never expect you to speak again. Just please tell me what's wrong." He desperately pleads.

"I feel sick." I manage to get out. The lump in my throat really hurts. My head hurts too.

"I'm going to sit you up." He slowly reaches under my back and carefully pulls me up into a sitting position. With my head rested on my older brothers shoulder I groan. The blood rushing down my body does not help at all. "Where are you sick baby?" He asks as he cradles my head onto his shoulder.

"Feel dizzy, wanna throw up." I skip over a few words. Nothing makes sense. I just want the sickness to be over.

"Okay, I'm gonna bring you to your bathroom okay? Then I'll get Massimo. He will know what to do."

He lifts me up and in no time I'm seated next to the toilet. His hands on my back disappear for a minute before it's replaced with a heavy blanket. With my forehead resting against against the toilet seat I try to calm my breathing.

In through my nose, out through my mouth. I repeat that in my head until I hear two sets of footsteps.

"Oh Florence," Massimo sighs as he kneels down next to me and places his hand on my back. I open my eyes and slightly turn to face him.

His hair is disheveled, his eyes are red from being woken up. He's wearing his red and black plaid pyjamas with a random band t-shirt.

"Have you thrown up?" Squeezing my eyes shut again I slightly shake my head no. "Okay, we will sit here until it passes. I got Dominic to fill up a water bottle."

I sniffle and nod. My eyes squeezing shut again.

"I'm dizzy." I choke out. The nausea is still here, but it's clear that that's all it is. I'm not going to throw up, it just feels like I will.