The Wallflower

Confessions

"Are you in love with my brother?"

Penelope's breath hitched ever so slightly. She opened her mouth but nothing came out for a few moments. "W-what? No of course not." She finally stammered out.

Eloise shook her head. "You promised you would be honest." She reminded her. Penelope stood up, walked a few steps forward and looked up at that the sky for a minute before taking a deep breath.

"Yes. I am." She whispered under her breath. It was so soft Eloise thought it might've been the breeze blowing through the trees. She paused for a moment to understand the gravity of what Penelope had just admitted. Penelope also realized what she had just said. It's weight crushed her heart. She'd never admitted it out loud before and it hurt even more to acknowledge her feelings when Colin's remained the way they were.

"Oh, Pen." Eloise stood up, walked to Penelope and pulled her into another embrace. Eloise had spent so many years swearing off men and the complete idea of marriage, she had assumed Penelope did the same. It never occurred to her that the reason Penelope never discussed wanting marriage and a family was because she only wanted it with one person. Colin.

Penelope started to sob as Eloise held her tighter. She tried to calm Penelope down but there was no use. The flood gates had opened on Penelope's heart and every tear she had bottled up over the years came tumbling out of her. Every emotion she locked away, every urge to gaze upon his face she had suppressed, everything she released in the privacy of her bed chambers, came tumbling out of her soul. She sank to the ground as sobs wracked her body.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity, Penelope was empty. Eloise continued to hold her. She stroked Penelope's hair and back softly. Penelope glanced up at Eloise and laughed. Eloise gave her a confused look. "What is it? What's so funny?" Eloise asked with a small smile.

"It's just, Colin all but proclaimed his disdain for my existence and I should hate him. I should never want to see him again, but I don't." Penelope wiped a lone tear away from her face before she continued. "I don't hate him. I do want to see him again. The sad thing is I'm just as in love with him as I was before his public announcement. I'm laughing at how pathetic I must seem." She finished with a sad chuckle.

Eloise shook her head. "You're not pathetic. You're in love. If it were that easy for your love to disappear the it wouldn't be love." Eloise sis softly.

There were a few moments of silence between them before Penelope spoke again. She just couldn't help it. After so many years of no one knowing her feelings, she just couldn't stop herself from talking about them now.

"I fell in love with him one day in Hyde Park. My mother and sisters were talking to your mother and Daphne about heaven knows what. I heard a rumbling and went to figure out what it could be and it was Colin and Benedict chasing each other on their horses." A small smile pulled at the corners of her mouth as she remembered the event, like it had happened yesterday.
Penelope looked at Eloise and continued.

"As they rode closer, the wind picked up and it tore my bonnet off my head. Smacked Colin right in the face and he lost his balance and fell off Arthur, right into a huge mud pit." She laughed at the memory. He looked so handsome in the mud. His black hair was damp from the light rain and it stuck to his forehead it. Rain drops had attached themselves to his ridiculously long eyelashes and she remembered her knees almost buckled when he looked up at her with those beautiful blue eyes. Eloise chuckled.

Penelope shook her head with a smile. "I thought he would be furious. Any other man would've been. But Colin, well he...laughed. He actually laughed and my heart soared at the sound of it. I couldn't help it. After that day I wanted nothing more than to hear his laugh again. I found myself seeking him out at balls and parties and other events just to talk to him."